A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:So I'm with this gorgeous woman for a little over a year. We are both very sexual, but she is the first new partner I've been with in a while. The problem I am having is I don't orgasm quickly with her, and in fact, I don't feel like sex with her physically stimulates me in the right way. I tend to get off on slow, deep strokes with an occasional burst of hard sex. She seems to like only the hard, pounding sex and that I cum rather quickly...like within 5 minutes. I enjoy sex the most if I go slow at first and let the slow gliding of the skin build my orgasm over 10-20 minutes or more, with different positions. We've talked about it, and she says to do whatever pleases me, and that she loves whatever I do to her. But when we are at it, she insists I pound her, cum ASAP and she even lockes her legs around me and forces me to bang her hard. She keeps asying "give it to me", meaning my cum.How can I get her to REALLY understand we need to slow down and enjoy? When I do, she loves it, but it passes, and she's right back to the "fuck me harder" thing. And I DONT fuck slow or lazy, so I dont get it. If I bang like a jackhammer continuosly, I get tired, and sometimes even lose my erection a bit from the exertion...and I am VERY athletic, so you can imagine the wrecking-ball force she likes sex to be.Because of this urgency to cum, I have to really concentrate on sexual images, porn, or something to put me over the edge, rather than the act itself...which sucks. I'd really love to focus on her, the sensations and let it build naturally. But if I do, I get a definite vibe of "when are you going to cum?". And let me assure you...I'm not talking hours here...just like 15 minutes.I'm also afraid of sex with us never being lovemaking as a result of this rocking porn-stle sex life. I know that sounds crazy coming from a guy who loves sex, but it's true that too much of something isn't always good. We bond before and after sex, but sex itself is like this bang-a-thon every time.What do I do to talk to her?
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2010): I am assuming she does this because it is only the way in which she can orgasm from sex?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2010): You're the man take control, you've tried talking to her. So next time you're in the act take control, if she tries to wrap her legs around push then off.
Look she likes to be pounded, she likes it rough, throw her around a bit, use positions where you're in control. There are plenty of those. Switch positions a bit to keep things fresh, when you're doing her even in slow motions you can go deep if you know what I mean, or push hard. Mix it up a bit by taking control, she'll let you do it more often once she realizes that the hard pounding will come at the end and then you rip her apart.
If you're very athletic then use your strength to dominate her, she moves pin her down, she tries to thrust harder hold her back. Dominate, hold her in position and get your motion going. Throw in a slap on her ass every now again for good measure.
Of course I'm taking about consensual domination if you don't think she'd like that don't do it obviously. But I'd take control.
I had an ex like that, except we always did it nice and easy until one time she got sick of it, turned me over, got on top, held my arms down and just went hell for leather. I wasn't doing what she wanted to get off, so she took control and I didn't mind it was awesome. It was the only way she got her rocks off and seeing as I was a bit like you, wanting to feel every motion instead of a blur of passion. We just experimented and mixed it up.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2010): Hey,
Try talking to her more. Tell her when you think your going slow go slower and when you think your going fast go faster. I've always let my hands kind of find ther way to my gf butt and kind of guided her that way. She hasn't said anything about it. Its really easy for me to control her thrust speed. You could try guiding her a couple of times until she gets the speed and then remove your hands to other parts of her body. If she starts to speed up you can put them back to kind of control it. The point would be for her to kind of control her speed and for her to figure out a speed that you want. Im assuming she wants to please you and should have a problem with it.
Much luck...
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