A
female
age
30-35,
*urplewasabi
writes:I’ll start this problem/question with a little background history! My best friend, let’s call her Beth, has a strange family. Strange, but amazing, and I love them all - and in turn they love me. I’ve had my own bed in their house before, before I moved to the city I was there almost every night, and it’s safe to say I much preferred them to my own family. ‘Beth’ has three brothers. One is 35, one is 29 and one is 23. The latter two used to live around the family home while the oldest lived in the city. The latter two have always flirted with me, jokingly and in a fun manner, and openly. I know they have talked about me when I‘m not there but Beth is, as boys might about ‘hot’ girls. (I’m not saying I am such; but I’m not hideous.) I’ve never been attracted to the middle brother, but the youngest has always been that older brother of your friend’s you always fancy. When I was a little younger it was silly and made me giggle, but now it has developed. He moved to the city for a few months recently, and is closer to me now. I often have an empty flat at the weekends, and the other night we randomly went to see a film together… and then got extremely drunk and ended up at my place. We didn’t have sex as he wasn‘t hard enough at the right time - maybe something about it was a little off for him? I hear of performance anxiety and hope he was just nervous. Though we kept it quiet for a couple of weeks, Beth eventually found out, as did her other brother and the rest of the clan (family/friends). It’s all fine, Beth doesn’t mind etc, our relationship is always superior to everything, we both know if it was a problem then it wouldn’t have happened in the first place. This brother and I don’t want a proper relationship - at least, I know I definitely don’t. But I would like to see him again and sleep with him, and I’m not sure how to indicate that without embarrassing myself. He’s given hints he might want to, but I can’t tell. Would he say it plainly if he genuinely wanted to, or is he just hinting in case I don’t feel the same/his family get involved? I’m incredibly insecure - yes, I know all girls are etcetc- but I’ve had emotional crap in my past that make it super difficult for me to get close to someone physically. Now that I’ve finally managed to, I want to keep it for a while longer. How can I find out if he actually enjoyed that night and settle my worries that I was boring or crap and ugly and soon? If I were answering my own question I would tell myself to just go ahead and be bold, tell him you had fun and wonder if it could be repeated. But for some reason it doesn’t seem that easy.Sorry this is so long! I'll happily give more details if anyone wants them.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2010): Ask him to come to your place for a movie night, rent a few movies, get some good food..maybe a little alcohol. Ya dont want him to drink too much since alcohol can make a man limp, unable to perform. If he wants you, he'll make a move. Sit close to him, he'll get the message.
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