A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year and knew him as a friend a couple of years before that.. We have live together for the last 5 months. He is shy and introverted and not a great communicator. At times he can be a little depressive although he has been much better in the last few months. The depression seems to be triggered by a work colleague that he works with on and off. Before me, he hadn't had a girlfriend for 13 years after the last one left him for someone else - they were together for 2 years but he has never lived with a partner until me (he is 41 by the way). In all this time he had not made any move to seek a partner, and has led a quiet existence alone with just a few single men friends, rarely venturing out of town. He has mentioned that he had resigned himself to being single for ever and also that the last 10 years of his life were not particularly happy.We get on well, enjoy the same things, have great sex and rarely argue. He buys me flowers and shows me kindness and affection. He's a bright intelligent person and I love him for what he is .I told him I loved him early on in the relationship after about 3 months and he didn't reply.In the following months I asked him how he felt about me but he said he wasn't ready to say he loved me although he admitted his feeling were growing. After 6 months on New Year's day he sent me a text saying "I love ya" and then after that started to reply when I said it to him. However, I have been concerned that he has never said it to me first. I told him a couple of days ago that I was sometimes unsure about how he felt as he never told me. I pressed him on the point as I needed an answer and after some hesitation he said "no" when I asked if he loved me. He also said he was happy and didn't want to change anything. He said he wasn't looking for anything else (which I could believe looking at his past history). This has left me feeling upset, insecure and anxious. He has been extra affectionate since but I don't know where to go from here or what to think.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2010): Some guys are not good at saying how they feel. You left him too it and he sent you a text that said he loved you. I think the more you push him to say it first the more he will back off from saying it.
This is what you said about him,
"We get on well, enjoy the same things, have great sex and rarely argue. He buys me flowers and shows me kindness and affection. He's a bright intelligent person and I love him for what he i"
Wow I mean wow don't you see how lucky you are? Back off and let him do the telling i his own time
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