A
female
age
41-50,
*alyda
writes:This is a question for all the men out here. Let's say you love a girl very much but thing did not work because of the distance but you both love each other very much. If your long distance ex girlfriend was trying to get you back but you were in a relationship with a another girl but still love her and she is ready to move to another country for you. To all guys out there (and ladies who have been in the same situation) what can I do to get my ex back?
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ex girlfriend, long distance, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2009): Hi Valyda,
It's for me clear that you will get together anyway, but there are few aspect to take care about.
Your (ex) bf, future husband should be honest to his actual gf about his feelings for you (and not that you come to him to take him) and solve it in a smooth and for her as much as possible understandable and acceptable way. Or he should split up and you come later in the picture again, but you both know better the situation, I prefer to be honest and keeping the good feelings.
Don't forget that they might have mutual friends etc and I don't know how small the community is.
Ofcourse you both feel sorry for her, but she will be more unhappy if it will happen 5 years later or if she is with a partner who is still remembering his ex.
I wish you all the luck together and go for it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2009): yes, I wonder if she knows about you? You only live once, and I feel you should move near him to find out. It's not like you're going to get married to him, because this is a trial time to find out if he's the 'love of your life' :) I would give this some thought: I'm the type of woman that needed to be near family when I started having kids...I needed their support. Some woman are more adaptable than me, and have no problem. It can be difficult to adjust to a new country and start new friendships too, but that can be exciting if you are a secure person. take care
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A
female
reader, Valyda +, writes (23 February 2009):
Valyda is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi suresheexists, thanks for your honest answer, On valentines day he sent me an email telling me how much he loves and that he is not happy because I am not with him there...even though he has a girl friend. You are absolutely right, I know he doesn't want me to regret and he is very scared to hurt me in anyways or to disappoint me. I love him so much and every time we talk on the phone he is very sweet and tell me how much he loves me and that I never lost him. I just don't know how to make him comfortable with the fact that I am 100% comfortable with my decision. I even started looking for work in the city were he is, but some how I feel bad for that other girl. Guys, help!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2009): Hi Valyada,
I just answered your other question, but now the situations seems to be a bit different.
I would, if the situation was exactly the same, I was your bf in the past and I was as much in love with my actual gf and she is as much loving me as you are, I would stay with her. Clear.
If the balance was just a very very very little that I would have doubts if there is a difference, I would also stay with her.
But if there is a clear difference in my feelings feelings for you or your feelings for me and I was sure that you can easy stay with me in my country and not regret you came, I would have no doubts (ofcourse feel increadible sorry for my actual gf) but, I would choose for 'the love of my life'.
So you must make him certain about your decission to come and live together with him in his country, because he is for you 'the love of your life'.
Makes my answer sense?
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