A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hello all. I'm hoping someone will give me some insight. I've been violently abused in my life in many ways. I now find it hard to trust anybody. I've cut off all ties with people because (honestly) they all end up being mean, I just can't stand mean people anymore!. It mainly started when my mother hit me when I was about 3 and it hasn't stopped. I have been strangled such a lot by many different people and it was all related to sex and control over me. The last man I tried with (after 13 years of not having a serious relationship) did what they always do, he got into my head then he started hitting and he lied a lot to me, he cheated on me, used me for sex and to boost his fragile and disturbed ego, then said that he hated me and that was that - yet - I am stalked, be-littled in the streets and I think it has a lot to do with my (ex) and my out-spokeness and that I now - REALLY - will not put up with anymore shxx.I thought that we had something special together, he was too into drink, drugs and sex and lies and violence and couldn't let that go and I resent him for it. It's what destroyed what could have been. Not me! he allowed evil things to take him over and then took it out on me and still wants. I especially resent that he still thinks there could be an opportunity with me, even though he's definitely dumped me so cruelly. It's so crazy!My main issue is with men. They don't know how to deal with me. I get death threats and all sorts of crap because I don't want to be in a relationship anymore and I certainly don't want gratuitous sex with men, yet I'm called names because I don't want to and because they have already used me up and thrown me away, I have learnt to be very independent and don't date and remain mostly celibate. I always wanted a good kind man, but all I got were losers. So I have to get over the fact that there isn't one and I'm finding that a hard one to deal with. It started a bit like coronation streets storyline, about the girl who was used and passed around.My story is spiritual though, I have a strong belief in God and Love serving my God and I'm bullied because of it. My mum got with satanists when I was a baby and that crazy stuff doesn't want to exit my life. But I never asked for evil things and don't wish horrible things on anyone. I just get so upset and angry when people are so horrible. I'm 43 now. I have a lovely home and I'm doing ok, I just would honestly like some insight on how I can stop the repetitiveness of how hard done by I feel and how scared I feel because the devil wants to stick around. I'm always scared that I'm going to be murdered (there have been so many death threats from an early age) the satanists were around my cot egging each other on to kill me. They couldn't do it, but oh how they wanted too. This is a complex one, I know, but I'm a little bit tired of fighting the bad things on my own! I know that God is with me and perhaps I should rely on that (and I do all the time) but this is an avenue I want to try, to get the crap out of my precious life. There is such wickedness out there but it's not in me. I'm Thank you for reading .
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2017): Thankyou for your insights. I have taken what was good from them and chucked away what I feel didn't apply to my situations. Keep up the good work Amigos
Ciao x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2017): As human beings we are all capable of mistakes; or seduced by evil. Being mean can be intentional; or it can be an act we've carried out that can do harm unintentionally, or inadvertently to others. This can happen to us, for being at the wrong place at the wrong time. So we have to be careful where we hangout.
Victims may be innocent bystanders; or in the fall-out of something we've unknowingly have done wrong. God knows we have frailties and faults as humans; and we are prone to wrong-doing. He forgives us, and offers us opportunities for redemption and He provides avenues to seek salvation. You'll find solace and comfort by by way of worship, by whatever faith or religion you choose.
You have been abused throughout your life; and it isn't unusual for women who were victims of child-abuse; to be drawn towards aggressive and angry men. It's almost a conscious and deliberate effort to place themselves in the path of men like that. Sometimes because they feel they are worthless, or don't deserve any better. They meet men in bad places and even see the warning signs; but think they can tame him or change him; if he feels sorry for them. They feel they should be punished. Sometimes they believe the bad things said to them; because they feel life has been terrible to them because it's their fault. They think their helpless victims; and that's all they can expect.
Nothing is further from the truth; but that's how the hopeless or defeated perceive life.
You have to seek spiritual-guidance from your religious leadership. Attend religious-studies to better understand the doctrines of your faith.
You are given tools for survival. Self-preservation is an instinct. You should heed the warning-signs of people who live recklessly or ascribe to criminal life-styles.
You know right from wrong; so don't pretend not to know how to get out of the way of an oncoming train. You know a bad man when you see one; and you know not to hang in bad crowds if you don't want trouble. You can't blame the devil; but you also have free-will and access to God through your prayers. If that is what you truly believe.
When you can't find the answers by yourself; you seek them those who know; and have knowledge and experience through their faith. If you believe in God; you should also know that nothing happens without His permission. Good triumphs over evil, but that has to be your deepest belief.
You see only wickedness when that's all you want to see. If you give into the belief that evil has you in it's grip; you are deceived by your own lack of faith, and cynical views of life. You don't want to acknowledge the good and the blessings you do receive; you belittle them in the face of your hardships. That's a very pessimistic and ungrateful view of life; and contrary to your beliefs, if you claim you believe in God.
When you see mean people in your path, choose another route. If you have a stalker, file a police report and get an order of protection. Seek haven in your place of worship and get counsel from your religious leadership. Explain what you perceive to be entities attacking your spiritual-life; but also see the realities that nobody's perfect and we all make mistakes.
Placing your self in harms way and then blaming others makes no sense. Making bad choices is partially your own fault; and evil isn't constantly tracking you down. I don't know about your exposure to what you've described as satanist; but if you feel they are the source of your misfortune, you should draw closer to your faith, and seek spiritual guidance at your chosen place of worship.
I also suggest that you seek therapy for your post traumatic stress. It is not going against spiritual-faith to seek medical help or treatment for our mental-health.
You are overwhelmed by your pain, and you have not sought the help you need. You're wondering aimlessly through your pain, and creating all sorts of scenarios in your mind that may be true, or untrue. The sources of evil feed on our hopelessness and lack of faith. So seeking help by every resource God has given us, will help us to overcome our fears, heal our pain, and give us the strength to help others.
My prayers will go out for you, my dear.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (7 June 2017):
 Go and talk your vicar. You have set your foot on a spiritual path. He is the one to help. As for the men, well you have obviously been fishing in the wrong pool. Break with that. Wherever you found you last crazy men steer well clear of it. There are more good men than bad - quite a few in between - but not the nut cases you have picked up. Seriously! Do yourself a favour and be more choosy.
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