A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have lingering doubts about a recent break-up, even though many told me the relationship was unhealthy -- and I believe they were right, to an extent -- because him and I were compatible in so many other ways. I have a difficult time remembering how increasingly unhappy and trapped I felt in the relationship, when there were so many good, blissful times as well. It seems I remember those times now better than the bad ones.I try to remind myself, but I miss the intimacy, both physical and emotional. He understood me so well. I miss how comfortable I felt around him. I miss being able to wake up next to somebody I truly care about.I'm trying to move on. I don't want a relationship right now, but I've been feeling pretty sick in social situations, as the guys that tend to pursue me I am not attracted to mentally at all. The truth is, attending social events with my friends is only making me feel worse -- I miss my ex more and more.I spent the last three days out of town with family for Christmas. I really enjoyed myself, but the moment I was back on the road and heading home again I just began to feel this overwhelming sadness, loneliness, and knot in my stomach. I almost wished he would be at my house waiting for me, wanting to work things out between us...Whenever I'm alone, I cry. I can't stop thinking about him. I don't think it would ever be the same if we were together again, anyway. I really just want to make this feeling go away... Please help. :(
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2009): wow, i feel the same exact way.
i dated this guy who was not serious about me in our 8 mo relationship. i think i just wanted to be a relationship, and didn't care that this guy treated me badly and we were not a good match. but i still think about him everyday, miss him, and cry about it a lot. i know i'm being irrational and could do better, but it sucks not having that companionship, i totally feel your pain!
i felt better when i went home for vacay, but when i came back i felt so lonely and sad again, just like you. but i have to keep telling myself that i'm a good girl and i'll meet someone else. but in the meantime, i can't shake this stupid jerk and it really upsets me! it helps to know someone else feels the same. i'm pretty sure i'll be ok and you will too, just focus on your life and good things will happen!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2009): Your only 20 and probably beautiful! This guy sounds like a real loser to be honest..do you really think you want to spend the rest of your life like that? find someone that is worthy of your time and energy and start going places where u can meet nice men!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello anonymous... Thank you for the reply.
I wish it was that easy. He didn't treat me very well much of the time, lied about many things (including other girls), was older than me (I am only 20, not any older) and yet has gotten nowhere in life so far, with no ambitions, whereas I'm about to graduate in a couple of months with my Bachelors... and he spent less and less time with me, though he had more and more free time.
He told me he wanted a serious, long-term relationship from the beginning, and that he wanted go back to school and become a teacher, but it never happened. In fact, I think he resented me a little for pushing him... Toward the end, he actually told me he didn't think he was ready for a relationship and he wasn't sure if he loved me. His pot use had also increased a lot since we got together...
I love him very much, but there is no way the relationship will work if he doesn't stop lying to me -- and change some of his other behaviors... It kills me, because I see such good in him. I know he could turn his life around with minimal effort. I just can't let him disrespect me the way that he does. :(
It hurts a lot. I really just wish I could stop daydreaming that he will have a sudden revelation and call me up. I want to stop missing him. :( If you have any advice, I would appreciate it more than you know...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2009): first off , you sound alot more mature than the 18-21 range? Secondly, if you love the guy, care about him, ect why not try and make it work? The grass always seems greener on the other side, trust me.
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