A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm a girlfriend of this guy who is amazing in person, but he is so horrible at talking to me over text, phone, and Xbox chat. Voice chatting is better than text, but nothing beats him being awesome in person. In person, he shows me attention, affection, spends time with me, etc. Awesome boyfriend in person. It is bothering because it's long distance (2 hours away) and we can't see each other often except for weekends and not every weekend either because he's in the military and needs to report to his unit a weekend a month. He's not deployed and not active duty so he basically lives a civilian life with a full time civilian job. Anyway one of my friends said it could because he's military he's trained to not show a lot of emotion which I think is bull. Anyone dating a military guy can chime in on this.So I tried discussing my concerns to him, and he's agreed to my concerns, but I haven't seen some improvement yet. He used to talk a lot more to me before he came home from vacation and then I noticed he was showing "not-as-much" communication (phone/Xbox chat). Then we dated, etc and it was amazing and when he went back home it was still the same "not-as-much" communication.I asked what was wrong and he said nothing and that he's home and has work and other stuff to do. I get that, but at least when you're free try to talk to me or ask me to play games or even say a hi over text something whatever it can be a one liner text whatever! I asked a lot of people about this and they said he might just not be one to be good at showing emotions when not in person. This is true and it wouldn't be a problem if we have lived closer! But we don't live close so it's not like I can see him everyday. Anyways we barely talk unless we hang out in person which is stupid. He insists he's still into me and wants to be my boyfriend after I keep asking him. And I also asked if he wanted to be friends instead or bf/gf and he said why did I ask him that. Well I don't know and I said I'll still like to be with him and asked if he did too. He said yes and that he wants to be my boyfriend still.I feel like it's not a relationship if we don't even talk during the week. We were supposed to play games over Xbox Live, but I blew him off because I didn't feel it's worth playing anything with him for awhile.He's trying to borrow the car from his mom so he can go see me on my birthday. Well see that's another issues that he might or might not be able to come see me at all. Okay so what the communication is bad, make an effort to come see me again at least? But I have to keep reminding him to ask his mom if he can borrow the car whatever. He said he will try his best to come see me again this weekend. Really, I want to fix one or the other issues, but he's lacking: the communication department and making an effort to come see me again.I will say the first time he came see me, he went all out and stayed at a motel for two nights so he can spend time with me, but that was that weekend. And unfortunately, I don't think he's like that anymore. :(
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 August 2013):
 Yep I did a 2 hour LDR.. .we survived a year.. then he moved down to be with me... then we got married.
2 hours when you have transportation is not bad... we have friends who are married and do this.. he comes in 3 out of 4 weekends BUT they video skype every night from 9-11... even if they are not talking the whole time...they watch tv together and stuff
when hubby and I were LDR I needed more communication than he did... and I told him this... we emailed... we talked.. rarely texted... he's finally now getting better at texting.
you don't say how long you are dating but this may just be the way he is.. he may not like to talk on the phone or text... it is NOT about you....
if he's not making the effort to see you and there are OTHER problems as well.. then maybe it's him... or maybe you are just not cut out for an LDR...
if you are long term LDR what are the plans to end the distance? you can't be LDR forever... part of the goal of an LDR is to NOT be LDR.
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