A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi aunts,Thanks in advance for taking the time to read this question.I've been dating somebody that is completely 'my type' from the way he looks, to his hobbies and dress sense for around the last 5 months, everything has been great. However, I have recently changed where I volunteer locally (I volunteer outside of Uni to help adults with learning disabilities). Anyway, when I first arrived and now ever since I have been completely besotted like an absolute child with one of the other staff members. He is not my type at all, I wouldn't even say he was attractive. He is literally one of those people that you have a massive attraction to but can not explain why whatsoever. I don't know what It is about him, I just feel like a little child again and quite pathetic actually. It started at first by me catching him watching me (I don't know whether this is because I'm new, have no idea about the project or because he likes me) Everytime I seem to look in his direction he always seems to be looking at me. Then we kind of do the awkward look away from each other and carry on. I'm not sure whether this is because I keep seeking him out in the class or whether he is genuinely watching me. The other staff member is also male and seems to have made much more of an effort talking to me and getting to know me. We've really hit it off and become friends. When he wasn't there today though I found that he spent a lot more time talking to Me, and then as soon as this staff member came back and started talking to me he backed off again. Today the staff member that I 'like' for a better word, I felt like we were both almost flirting with each other. Telling the students to shout at each other for various things we had done. He does keep mentioning the fact that he's older than me, and calling himself old. I'm 22 and he's 27. There's a 5 year gap, not to sure whether he's trying to warn me off. I only have 1 week left volunteering there and I'm desperate for him to start something, I've found him on Facebook but don't have the courage to add him. It's left me compleltey like a girl again, butterfly's and excitement around him but I have no idea why. The guy I've been seeing just doesn't seem to matter anymore even though he's everything I seek in a partner. This guy is none of those things, I don't even know why I'm attracted to him. Basically aunts, how can I maybe find out if he's interested without jepoardisng my work? We work with young men, therefore I don't want to embaress myself as I will never live it down. I really would love to meet up with him outside of work and we both live near each other. Do you think the age gap is a problem? And do you think it's worth risking everything I have for somebody that is not my type at all? Why am I acting like a school girl with a crush, I'm annoying myself.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2013): I think if you below actually read the question properly the girl says that she has just been 'dating' him and doesn't not mention a anything about him being her boyfriend. So I am going to assume that he is not her boyfriend? Also she mentions that she volunteers at different places and has to leave next week, therefore they won't be working together in the future. So the advice below all in all I assume is not very helpful?Here's what I think. I think you need to take things slowly and not make any hasty decisions. There is obviously a reason your attracted to this guy right? And maybe it's a good thing that he isn't your 'typical' type. But then again it could also be terrible and you do throw away what you currently have for the unknown. If you are just seeing this guy then it won't harm you to just get to know this guy from the volunteer work. It something progresses then you can always cool things off with the guy your seeing currently. Maybe this guy isn't interested and then you can continue with your current affair. If he is interested then just see how things go.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (21 November 2013):
 I was thinking the same thing as SVC.
What about your BF? Is you having some school girl crush more important then having a healthy relationship?
I get that EVERYONE gets crushes. BUT it doesn't MEAN you have to ACT on every one of them OR that you have to DECLARE it to your crush.
I think he is WELL AWARE of you being interested or "crushing" on you and that is why he keeps bringing up his RIPE old age of 27. Because it's nicer then coming straight out and tell you, honey, you are fun to flirt with but I'm not interested.
And you don't know the guy outside of work, who knows.. he could have 5 kids and an ex wife....
How about you THINK on it a little.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 November 2013):
 Well what about the fellow you have been dating for 5 months.. where does he fall into this? Have you left him yet? Are you going to leave him? If not, then why does it matter what happens with the guy at work?
First thing you must do is break up with your boyfriend.
BUT I caution you that a work crush is often fleeting… and you may be throwing away a good relationship for a flash in the pan. It’s just a crush and it will pass with time and as you get to know him…. Until your feelings settle down to normal, I’d caution you about throwing away something good for something unknown that probably will not last.
A 5 year age gap is not much at 22 and 27.
Dating folks from work is NEVER a good idea… what if it does not work out and you still have to work with them? How awkward will that be?
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