A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi Guys. I am nearly 35 but I look 25 or sometimes I even have been asked for my ID at alcohol stores. I was dating a 25 year old girl and she left cause I got serious. For me its very hard to find a girl in my age bracket, a girl who is mature and wants to be in a real relationship and even get married someday. The problem is its mostly younger girls who are attracted to me and the older ones probably think I am too young. If someone here tells me its not about the looks, please go out on the dating scene in real life and you will know first impressions are always about looks no matter what. So I am in a dilemma as to where and how to approach women more in my age bracket (27-32) and ones who are mature enough to not freak out from commitment later on in life. This might sound silly but I have had problems before where I liked a couple of girls but they kept blowing me off cause she felt I was too young looking. (strange I know but it happens). Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2013): Hi. Thanks Dorothy Dix. I asked that question there. I get your point but it does not apply to my situation totally. The last girl I was with talked herself about having kids after a year and a half of us dating. But then she freaked out a few months ago saying she thinks she is too young still to get serious. She was 25. I even asked my other friends (both male and female) as to what exactly was going wrong and most of them said that she might be scared of commitment since she has not yet matured enough as 25 is young. This is why I am now focusing to find someone who is older and mature and perhaps realizes that life is about finding the right partner no matter what phase of life u are in. And then My young looks get in the way at times. As if the dating scene wasn't already a difficult place.
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (23 June 2013):
Hi there. Is the age of someone really so important to you?
Surely, it only really matters what is inside.
Meaning, your true character and your personality.
Perhaps this is where you are going wrong, that you are only looking for women around the age of 35.
And of course, I realize that a lot of women in this age group may be married and with children or at least one child, anyway.
But not all 35 year olds.
And as you look young for your age, it probably doesn't really matter much.
Part of the problem here, is that once you start to really develop feelings for someone you are dating, well then your mind automatically starts thinking about marriage and children, and all that kind of stuff.
And so for you then, the rush is on to move forward in that direction.
And this could be making you appear a little desperate, and it might be scaring off some potential life partners.
Because, once you realize someone you are dating has some real potential for a future with, your mind races and you start to move things a little too quickly, for that girl you are dating.
And so it abruptly ends.
And so, you are then back to square one.
I really don't believe you have any trouble finding young women to date, and I think the main problem realistically, is that you start to think too far ahead into the future - and what it holds.
And this might happen for you, after about 3 or 4 dates.
And that is very quick, and it is not really long enough to truly know someone well enough to realize that they ARE right for you in the long term.
It is just way too soon for that.
It really takes quite a few months to get to know someone thoroughly, enough to be able to make a decision about the future.
What I suggest you do, is that when you start to date someone you like, that you simply focus ONLY on the NOW.
Don't think about tomorrow or next week, or next month.
And especially don't think about 1 or 2 years from now, either.
Just don't think beyond today. Simply don't go there, at all.
Just enjoy the moment, and be totally present NOW.
Because, NOW is the only moment we live in, so why not make the most of it?
And when you enjoy each moment to the full, well then you really can't go wrong.
Life is too short to be only thinking about what the future holds, and whether this young lady is "Miss Right" for you.
Time will reveal in it's natural course of events, what is meant to be.
And we cannot rush that at all.
All in good time.
...............................
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