A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:i started seeing this guy about 2 months ago and i just feel so shy when it comes to having sex with him and i don't know why. I have had quite a few one night stands with different guys and i always thought that i knew how to get what i wanted in bed. But not with this guy. I really really like him and find him really attractive and i kinda think he feels the same way however when it comes to us having sex i get become so shy and its really not like me. When i have had a few drinks in me it all comes out and i just let myself go but when im sober i feel nervous and i don't know how to overcome it. It's not like I'm a virgin or anything like that i just can't put my finger on what it is and i don't want him going off me because of it.
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (2 March 2010):
 Hope you have the time to follow up your post so I can know if my words offended you at all.
A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (1 March 2010):
For some reason, I think your shy full stop. Thank you for updating your post.
You haven't mentioned anything about relationships, you've just mentioned that you had one night stands with guys you probably wasn't that close too. That's easy, sex with a guy you don't know. You have nothing to loose, it dosen't matter if he likes you or respects you, you don't have to put anything on the line except your body. You can keep your heart and your emotions still intact.
Again, this, needing alcohol before you can really let loose. It's a sign that you are protecting yourself, and afraid to get hurt. If you say anything meaningful or truthful, you can laugh it all off and blame it on the alcohol.
You've spent a long time protecting your heart and building another character, or a woman who can drink and fuck like the boys and she really dosen't care.
But this guy is different, he touches your heart, he makes you feel vulnerable. You can't play the game with him because this guy makes you feel.
I think you should go back and do some of the stuff you missed. No sex, just dating, watching movies, making out, no alcohol involved. Instead, try sharing ice-cream with him. You know, that first time dating stuff. Take it slowly, enjoy being nervous and in love. Leave the bad girl at home, she's always protecting you, but in a way, she's left your nervous and innocent, because you seem to have missed the hard emotional stuff.
Your age is important, your post sounded like a young nervous virgin scared of her first date. I was thinking 16 or 18years old myself. That's the girl inside of you, what you are feeling is normal and natural, most girls and women go through this. Quick easy sex is sometimes a way of covering up and hiding from true emotional commitment.
Take things slow, take sex of the menu, become a young girl again, when your ready, things will happen naturally and will be very different from what your used to.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni'm 22 if that helps
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (17 February 2010):
It would be helpfull if you put down your age.
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