A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Finally working up the nerve to end five years relationship. I'm 33, he is 39. I love him, but this cycle of feeling happy then miserable is wearing on me...a lot. Most recent event: he blew me off on Christmas. To help myself move forward with ending this nightmare, I made a quick pro and con list and was completely honest with myself. It appears to be a no-brainer, but how do I work up the courage to end a year relationship with someone I love? Any tips or encouragement will help me a lot. Thanks. Here's the list:Broke as hellIn debt foreverLiarCowardTextbook NarcissistSecrets Only there when it's convenient or beneficialIrresponsible Moocher Shows he doesn't really carePlays with heart and feelings Pattern of really messed up behavior Selfish Never follows through Whipped by other people (not me!)Cheater He's not the person he portraysPros:He's fun/very funnyHe's attentive (in a shallow way)Sex
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2016): serpico,go back to talk about marriage.the guy she wants to leave is an ass who is selfish.
move on and find a guy who loves you as much as you love him.who will value you like you do him
A
male
reader, Garbo +, writes (29 December 2015):
 You are correct: the hardest part is deciding that you will break up. We all know that it is an unpleasant experience, with lot of anxiety prior to and in the beginning of the conversation. To minimize this, I'd suggest that you plan where and how you will break up with him.
Where? Be sure it's a place out of which you can get out and drive away on your own, in your own direction. Do not be beholden to him for a ride back home, have your own transportation.
How long? Keep the news very short, as in 10 minutes the most, and control the conversation so that you don't waste time explaining why for each point you list in your post. He wants to prolong the conversation because it prolongs the hope, whereas you, who has made up your mind, should keep it as short as possible. When done, get into your own transportation and go away from him.
After you break up, anxiety will go away, and some doubt will linger, that day for sure, but if your mind is made up you will be able to deal with it. Thereafter, be sure you stay no contact with him and never respond to his attempts to contact you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2015): your adorable friend with benefits mainly in the sack is starting to bore you and you should release him so that some other female who hasnt been getting any can spend her lonely nights jumping over him while he does what he knows how to do best.....sex, broken promises,borrowing money, more sex, a bit of trouble and yet more sex followed by abandonment.You meanwhile get a chance to get back on track and get fed a few tidbits of quite salacious gossip about what your errant ex did with whom whilst officially with his newly accomplished enabler.Its just possible that this could work out for the best.Meanwhile you look for someone who doesnt have the cons on the list and you hold out on intimacy until the bloke is emotionally committed to you.
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A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (29 December 2015):
You just described a man who fits the description of an alpha perfectly, so lets be honest whats going on here. Now that you're in your early 30s, the sex thing isnt enough, you realize you need your beta provider.This story is repeated ad nauseum in US. Ive lost count on how many times Ive seen it personally myself.
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A
female
reader, Redbeaniehayes +, writes (29 December 2015):
Explain to him why you aren't feeling the relationship anymore. In order to move on to someone who can treat you right, you need to let go of the person who isn't. Good luck with everything!
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