A
female
age
22-25,
*bauer
writes:I have been dating this guy for 4 months now and he is going on vacation for 6 weeks. What should I do during that time that won't make me sad or depressed that he is gone?
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female
reader, BettyBoup  +, writes (8 June 2018):
 You're being smart, asking for ideas for things to do to keep busy while you're apart. You don't want to dwell on his absence. A healthy relationship involves being able to enjoy time apart so you can both do things separately with other friends and interests and basically so you both have your own separate lives, not just rely on each other for happiness.
So you have 6 weeks to fill with exciting things that you want to do. Make the most of your time. Make lots of plans with friends. Maybe book your own holiday. You don't have to go for 6 weeks but why not book a mini break to a beach, or a cool city, or somewhere you'd like to go with your family or friends.
If that's not possible, have a look for what's on in your local area, events, activities, clubs etc. Is there a festival yout could go to? Also, are you at school or working? You could use this time to get some studying done or work a job to save up some cash t book your own holiday, either with your boyfriend or your friends.
Make sure you plan some fun things you want to do, so you've got exciting things to look forward to. Maybe some things that your boyfriend wouldn't want to do like a girly spa day or getting your hair and nails done. Go to see a theatre show or a theme park. Go shopping in a nearby city. Or start a new hobby you've wanted to try out like cooking, belly dancing, yoga, rock climbing, painting. Make plans with friends you haven't seen for a while. Make lots of girly catch up dates.
The ideas or endless. Basically, keep yourself busy and active, spend plenty time with the other awesome people in your life, your family and friends. The time will fly by if you are busy and you will have a great time. You both want to have a great time while he's away so you will have lots to talk about when you are back together again. Time Flys when you're having fun :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2018): You're at the perfect age for the advice I'm about to offer you.
First-off, don't get all obsessed and clingy over a boy. That's called "needy behavior." Otherwise known as "clingy!"
You have to practice being a strong young woman; not given into being "boy-crazy!" All prissy and whiny over boys! Teach yourself to handle things like a young-adult; you're not a baby, or a little-girl anymore. If you're dating, you have to show maturity. Your parents are watching you!
It's okay to spend a lot of time chatting or texting; because it's normal for people your age.
You both also have to come-up for air! Take a time-out for some fun and activities!
You've got to continue doing things apart from each other; and not get too caught-up in something that isn't as serious as you think it is. You have to practice being independent! Like when you don't want your parents breathing down your neck like you're still a helpless baby! Like when you somehow convinced them you're old enough to date boys!
Remember, he's still a kid; and he's going to cut-loose like a boy should! He will get busy, and forget to text or call you. You'll have to be strong enough to deal with it when they happens. Sometimes his parents will demand him to shutoff his phone, or take it from him. When it gets too quiet from his end; you'll go nuts! You better learn to handle being away from each other; when you know that's likely to occur when summertime rolls around!
It's mostly girls who are more likely to take these little puppy-loves more serious than they should; and as a result, their minds are full of "that boy." They neglect their friends, grades slip, they get mean and moody, and mistreat their siblings, and disrespect their parents.
Boys have shorter attention-spans. While he'll think of you a lot; it might be for about 30-60 seconds. Unless you're texting him every 5-minutes! He'll get tired of it, and start to ignore you! As he should! Bugging him isn't healthy, and it's a very bad-habit for a young lady.
He'll get a big-head knowing you're all kookoo and mushy over him; and he'll toy with your feelings. Boys have a different kind of ego from girls. They think they're big-stuff when he knows you're nuts about him. He'll start to do dumb things he shouldn't. Unless he knows you don't kid-around!
Being clingy now, is how young women develop weakness and dependency on men. They lose self-respect, and become too sensitive to the way boys treat them; or how they are seen physically. Worrying if they're pretty enough. Stronger girls make the boys have to chase them. They keep busy with friends, shopping, playing sports, and reading. They have special-interests to keep them excited; and to burn-off excess energy. They get summer-jobs!
Some girls your age like horses, belong to sports teams, or they have creative or artistic-talents. Some sing in a choir, belong to clubs; and try to make as many friends as they can. Otherwise; get a summer-job and make some money!
Learn to earn your own cash, and get some job-experience!
Well-adjusted happy girls go on family-vacations; and actually have fun! Instead of being all mopey and sappy; or moody about some stupid boy. While he's having the time of his life hiking, biking, jet-skiing, exploring, or camping-out. Still thinking of you; but not as much as you're worrying about when you'll next hear from him.
Now is the perfect time to teach yourself some self-control.
Not to be given to insecurities and falling to pieces over the simplest things; and spending all your spare time on a couch talking to a therapist. Time better spent just being a happy kid, enjoying life, and being carefree. There are enough people out there on pills and giving-up on life; under the belief that life sucks.
Be among the kids who enjoy just being a kid and having fun. Without always dragging some problem around behind you; and never being grateful for anything.
I promise you, a healthy boy gets distracted by his buddies, video-games, random activities, absolutely nothing, and "boy-stuff!" They're not sitting around all summer daydreaming about butterflies, unicorns, and valentines. Well, maybe the gay boys! I'm gay, I can say that!
Neither are those smart strong young ladies, who prefer the boys be all messed-up over them! They are the type of young women who don't easily get played, or messed-over by boys; but if and when they do, they are the ones who get over it faster. They know they'll find better guys to be with. They respect themselves, and they demand that the boys do too!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (5 June 2018):
 Be busy!
In those 6 weeks you can do ALL kind of things so when you DO get a chance to talk you have SOMETHING to talk about.
Maybe you will make a book list of X amount of books to read over summer. Like a List of the classics. Or you will take an art class, get a summer job, begin to learn an instrument, have some Netflix binge-watching of all the shows HE "hates" but you "love", hang out with friends, family, help your parents, grandparents with whatever.
The sky is the limit.
You can not RELY on a guy to be your sole inspiration or entertainment in life. That isn't a BF's job.
It's OK to miss him. But 6 weeks will pass fairly quick if you are busy. Mind over matter. 6 weeks is nothing.
And yes, I know what's its like to miss someone. My husband have deployed 3 times during out marriage, been gone on countless training exercises, schools etc. and I still survived. I haven't seen my dad in 6 years, except for Skype. But at least there IS Skype :) Or Facetime.
Maybe you two can TRY and set up a weekly Skype/Snapchat, Facetime (whatever app) night to chat.
It's not the end of the World.
You can do it!
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