A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:[Op's own title]Ok, so I've been going out with this guy for about three weeks now, he's the nicest person I've ever met and I totally, totally adore him. But, my friends are acting kinda cold towards me lately,and are saying that I'm choosing him over them, which isn't true - I know that BFF's should come before BF's when you're young - and they're really obsessive, saying that they have to see every kiss and hug I have with him. It's unbearable, and I never get to spend any time with him alone without them butting in, but I'm scared if I tell them I wanna be alone with him sometimes, they'll just kick me outta the group. What do you think I should do? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Neanthia +, writes (5 April 2010):
 Sweety they do sound a bit obsessive I'll give you that, I'm sure they're wonderful people but you do have to set a few boundaries here, personal space is a necessity for most people and it sounds like you could use some, the way I handle my friends and my boyfriend is to divide the time, spend time with your boyfriend and spend time with your friends, if they're real friends they'll respect your need for time alone with your boyfriend, if they don't either compromise or choose to stick to what they want it sounds like they just want you to do what they tell you, if you want to do that that's fine but if I were you I'd stand up for myself don't let them kick you out, walk out. You're in a tough spot and you have to choose, are you going to wait with things like they are until they come to a headway, or decide now.
Then you should also consider your boyfriend, men are never the type to rattle on about their feelings but you need to consider him too.
My advice don't choose your boyfriend over your friends but choose what feels right, what you think is right. I think you should divide your time between you and your boyfriend alone, with your friends and maybe even with you and him and his friends, you have to choose though. Stay with your friends if you want, do what they want, or spend some alone time with you and you boyfriend, but do what you think you should.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2010): They probably just miss you and don't want to share you with anyone. If they are single, then they are just jealous. Try to make them for them- have a "girls only" day where you can watch movies, play boards games, and have fun. Then when you want some alone time with your bf, remind them that while you love having "girl time" you also need some "alone time" with your bf. If he has single friends, have him bring them along and you can all go out as a group. If they continue to act childish, then maybe it will be a good thing to distance yourself from them and find some more mature friends to hang out with.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2010): try to get them set up with someone, or get one of them setup with his friends
...............................
|
