A
male
age
51-59,
*PK
writes:Possessive Wife.I love my wife and always try not to hurt her feelings in any way. The problem we have is that she does not want me to socialise with male friends for fear that they will get girls/ women for me. secondly when I move with her, she accuses me of feeling free with her female friends and thinks that there might develope an affair, Thirdly, she does not want me to talk to any female or have a female friend in my life other than her.When she suspects any thing, she calls me names and denies me sex until I have to get to my kness asking for mercy.What can I do to overcome this problem? will having a mistress help in this situation?
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2011): Hi, i agree with tisha-1 and redathena.. And also would like to add some points. There may be several reasons behind her suspicion. . Others told some of the probable causes. . I would also advice to consider morbid jealousy. It's a psychological condition where the person distrusts the spouse. I don't know what is her cause, but if morbid jealousy is the cause then mere counselling is not going to work. . She will need some medicines too. . So go to a counsellor, so that he could give you a better suggestion. . .
A
female
reader, RedAthena  +, writes (2 June 2011):
 Not only is she insecure, but she is abusive and controlling.
Get on your knees? Using sex as a weapon? Not very mature.
You should BOTH be able to have aquaintances of both genders and trust each other to be faithful emotionally and physically.
Do you have a history of cheating in your relationship with your wife? Does she have a history of cheating in her past or the family she grew up in?
Getting a Mistress? Why would you want to PROOVE HER RIGHT and give into her fears?
Do you respect, love, and honor your marriage?
My suggestion: Marriage counseling for trust issues and any past history that needs to be discussed. If she will not go..go for yourself!
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (2 June 2011):
 It sounds as though your wife is extremely insecure and controlling, to not want you to have any friends of either gender. Did you have a past of infidelity with her? Are you certain she is being faithful herself? Was her father faithful to her mother? Are friends and family happy in secure and faithful marriages?
Do you have children?
And having a mistress will do nothing to help the situation, by the way. It might provide a sexual outlet for the times she cuts you out but it would validate her fears that you are able and willing to cheat on her.
Either she comes to grips with the mistrust and insecurity or you might consider leaving the marriage. You can't be locked up all your life. She may have a psychological problem that she will have to be treated for. You may need to get an outside counselor, someone who can help her along the path to feeling secure.
Again, getting a mistress for yourself will simply prove that her fears were grounded in reality. Not a good idea at all.
Good luck.
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