A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hope you can offer important advice please. Myself and my partner have been together 2 years, he has 2 wonderful children who I love to bits. He has been broken up from his ex 4 years so we met a long time after they broke up. We have recently moved in together. His children love coming to us, however his ex just doesn't like it and now has manipulated their sensitive son into not wanting to come. She has an older son who has cut her out of his life cos she is so poisonous. The children regularly tell me they love me and wish mother wasn't such a meanie and just met me so she could like me but she won't and chooses to bad mouth me to the kids (who fortunately ignore her at times). But now she has won. She has made sure her son feels bad by telling him off for wanting to come and see us. He is torn as he doesn't want to tell me or his father as he thinks it will hurt our feelings but his dad has had many conversations about this with him and tells him he should not worry. We have professionals in place, I work in this line of work so unfortunately I cannot get involved. My partner is worried, stressed and generally depressed as he loves his children so much and all I can do is support him. Any advice on how to deal with the manipulative mother? Thanks :)
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female
reader, oldbag +, writes (15 April 2013):
 Hi
She sounds lonely and bitter and has already alienated one son so if she carries on the same way she will lose them both before long.
All you can do is continue to support your man and wait. They are his children and it's his ex, so he has to sort it out.
If professionals are involved then his child will be listened to and your man will be able to see his son.
Or he could even apply for full custody, which sounds like the best route for everyone - especially his son.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2013): There's nothing you can do, except you have to change your attitude slightly. She hasn't "won", her son has "lost". She doesn't realize it yet OP but in the long run she's lost too.
Patience, that's all you have to work with here. You have zero rights and zero power. You can only do your best to support your partner and keep being the loving, caring woman to them when you get the chance.
Unfortunately it's not against the law to be a bitch and poison your sons minds.
Stay strong is all you can do. Because frankly OP this will toughen him up. If he's that sensitive then he will learn from his own mother that being that way can be detrimental.
Tough it out OP, keep the house and your relationship ticking over, make life as easy on your partner as possible and just bide your time. He won't be a pushover forever and he won't be young foolish enough to allow his mother's bitterness fuck up his life too.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2013): Mean hateful people? Continue to treat the children with love and kindness and they will come to their own conclusions in time. If he has court ordered visits, there isn't anything she can do to stop the visits, she is just hurting them, making them feel they need to pick sides. She can be glad he found someone who does care and love them. Maybe in time she'll see that.
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