A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi i have been married for 18 months and have been with my husband for appx 4.5yrs, we have a son of 9 months and my husband is so stroppy, moody, and appears angry most of the time, i am struggling to cope with this. i nearly died last christmas following a burst appendix and although he supported me whilst in hospital, remained irritable and stroppy if he doesnt agree with something. he is causing arguments all the time by being stroppy and if i dont react he seems even more stroppy. if he doesnt agree with something i am told point blank i am wrong and if i try to have an oppinion he gets angry and remains moody. I dont know how to cope with this. his excuses when we first met was his eldest daughter causing stresses in his life and his divorce. i too was going through a divorce (we met after both our partners had had affairs and went on the internet). i am a happy person and he is pulling me down. he is away most of the week working and i sometimes dread him coming home as the atmosphere changes. if i say anything he gets stroppy / angry and then remains moody, i am sensitive and hate bad atmospheres all i want is a simple easy going life help please how can i sort this out, how do i deal with this for my sons sake?
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affair, christmas, divorce, his ex, the internet Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Jendorset +, writes (17 June 2010):
Well he cant just have the family life in 5 years can he. If he wanted to be a father he has to take everything that comes with it. Perhaps he has depression or something.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi thanks for the replies, he is working away tonight but i have managed to talk to him, he says he is just feeling low about lots of things and feels he has lost his freedom now we have our son. he seems to want me to hiself and not have to worry about routines etc he says life is very mundane with no excitement. i told him we could get a baby sitter and go out and spend somne time together but he doesnt want to do that, anything i suggest he tells me he doesnt want to. i asked him if he wants the single life or family life as he cant have both, his reply was he wants the family life but in 5 years time when the routine with our little one is more relaxed. our son was planned and i am not sure what to make of this. i have said i wonder if he is bypolar with all the ups and downs with his mood, everything is negative. i suggested seeing a dr or councilling but he doesnt want to where do i go from here?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2010): Talk to him less and ignore his moods. Give him plenty of space. However you need to ensure you become happier and more fulfilled. Whether that is going out more, seeing friends or taking up a new interest... you are putting all your focus on pleasing this guy! He is being controlling and rude. Its time he started considering his actions. When he realises he is not dragging you down with him he will stop being abusive or you will have more confidence to decide what to do next. I don't think pandering to his every need will help matters.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2010): When the two of you have a quiet moment together, tell him you love him and you appreciate him and everything he does for you. Ask, him with concern what is bothering him. Listen to his reply. You may not like what you hear, but don't start an argument and hear him out.
I have a feeling he is feeling unappreciated and overwhelmed.
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A
female
reader, Jendorset +, writes (13 June 2010):
You need to stick up for yourself and tell him how unhappy he is making you and how it will affect your soon in a negative way now and in his future attitude. Can you really see your marriage working long term if he doesnt change. Can imagine in five years time if he is still as bad as he is now. You sound like you wouldnt be able to cope with it. Tell him that you cant cope and that you love him but cant live like this forever. He may need a firm wake up call.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (13 June 2010):
 Talk to him about it? I think all you can do is hope that he will realize how he behaves and try and change himself...
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