A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My husband left me after 16 years of marriage for another woman. He had been seeing her for over a year before he told me and stayed for another 4 months after he told me then left. How do I deal with it? Has this happened to anyone? Did he/she come back to you or are they still with the other person? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2009): Would you take him back, if he did want back in this marriage? I think you are asking because you would. Some more forgiving women would and some wouldn't. I do agree with pvtguy..If it's been over a year since their affair, then with that type of 'time-frame' in mind,your husband likely won't be back. As he's likely established a bond with her. And I too, am sorry to say that. But, every case is different.
But I just want to add some comments, that I have interpreted from the tone of your posting. And please correct me if I am wrong as this is just my own personal opinions, here. It really soundslike you are thinking in terms of holding on to your husband and saving your marriage. You are thinking in those terms because you were not doing anything, to end the marriage. But he was. He approached this situation from a totally different direction. He was involved and focused on another relationship, for the past 14 months, while still living with you. Why had he lived this lie for so long? Because he knew, if you found out the whole truth of his infidelity, it would not be to his advantage. Whatever happens, he wants to have happen, but on his timetable, not yours.
Just because you, want this marriage to continue, it does not mean the marriage will continue. Your husband can end the marriage, at any time by going to a lawyer. Prepare yourself for that, hun as hard as that is to imagine. Be ready. This will sound negative but it may be all you can do. Stop moping, get angry because when you do this, you gain power as a person and you feel stronger. Why don't you give him a surprise that will blow up his and her perfect world. Get to a lawyer and go for a divorce.
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