A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a kind of complicated problem, but I'll try to shorten it up....I am in a long distance relationship currently with an amazing guy. Problem is, I still feel threatened by his ex gf. We met in the summer while he was still dating her, and I had no idea his ex even existed. I did find out after we had an argument because he lied to me, and he admitted to still be dating. I told him I could not talk to him any longer because of guilt and that when he was single again he was allowed to talk to me again. He dumped her after three days. Now this girl has a long list of problems, and I mean LONG.She's suicidal. Dyslexic (not that thats a major problem but you get it). A drug addict. An alcoholic. And a girl that loves to get around when she's single. When I made a facebook again after a year of not having one. I had erased it because people sent hate mail and stuff, so it was a big deal for me to make a new account. I told my bf I was scared because I didn't want her to email me or contact me. I always seem to be the thing ex girl friends attack first for some reason, even when she and her bf were broken up for months. I made the facebook, agreed to say I was in a relationship with my bf, got off, and went to bed. I checked my facebook the next day and had an email from her. I asked my bf if the ex was named Mary and he said yes. He asked if she had emailed me and I said yes. I checked it in complete fear. I had only had my facebook for TWELVE HOURS. She was awful to me. She said word for word, "You little whore! Get the fuck away from J B! He's mine you bitch! Fuck off you sleezy little slut!"Since then, I've hated her. She apologized with the help of a friend to tell her what she should type after my bf got mad at her. The apology was so fake it was almost an insult. She told me I can tell her if my bf was mean or rude and she "straighten him out like she used to". I never replied. My bf let me make his password after someone kept gettnig on, and in my curiosity checked her page. She talked about sex constantly and seemed to fill out the application for what she called me. I scrolled down and saw an honesty box.... You can probably guess what happened. I let it out. I said what I wanted to tell her that I had kept bottled up for 5 months. I erased that I had sent it and logged out. A month later my boyfriend called and asked if I had sent something to her. I admitted that I had and he told her it was me. I am extremely pissed off at what he did. It was an honesty box. It was meant to stay anonymous. Thats why it was made. For him to go tell her pissed me off. He still pulls this "I promised her we would be friends" crap with me. I don't want him to be friends with a girl who is going to constantly diss me. And apparently, she says if I get close to her she will try to hurt me or kill me. I never wanted to be friends with her and she begged and whined for us to be friends. I can't stand that my bf still says they are friends. I mean, it makes me wonder if she calss him and txts him... I don't want to be a bitch but.... Its a little unnerving since they went out for a year. I mean...... she still likes him. Help me. And sorry this is so long. I couldn't make it much shorter. Thank you for listening.
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alcoholic, ex girlfriend, facebook, his ex, long distance Reply to this Question
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female
reader, asleepintheclouds  +, writes (5 March 2008):
I know exactly what you mean, it seems like there are two sides and he is choosing her over you, even though he keeps saying that you're the one he loves.
I had exactly the same problem, and when it got too far (he was asking his ex to email him pics of her) i told him that he had to stop being friends with her or I just couldn't take it anymore. So he told her he wouldn't, but then just went behind my back anyway.
We broke up a few months later. That was last april. We just got back together last week, and exactly the same thing is happening again, except this time it's worse.
My point is...if he's not going to support you and take your side now, he's never going to do it.
A
female
reader, Jovial  +, writes (18 January 2008):
 Hi
I dont see why you should stress yourself about a guy who please other women on your account. He should be standing by you as his girlfriend. He doesnt defend your honor when he is supposed to, its like he is enjoying the circus as much as you are too! you know what type of a woman she is and yet you go and send her an enonymous mail tell your bfriend its you who later go and tell the girl was that necessary?
I think you are the one with power to stop this mess, evaluate your relationship with this guy put all the facts on the table and find more reasons why you call him 'amazing'because to me your post doesnt indicate which part of him is amazing judge for yourself. Is this the kind drama you want in a relationship? I dont dispute that relationship can have some drama but this one seem to have more episodes than you can handle.
J
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