A
male
age
,
*rewau2005
writes:Hi,Thanks in advance for your comments. My problem is that my fiancee seems to swing from being all over me to chastising me for 'not doing enough' or 'not appreciating what she does'. I find her claims incredible, not only because they are inaccurate but beacuse they seemingly come out of nowhere and without warning. The last time was two weeks ago when we went to dinner and the cinema, everything was perfect and she held my hand all night. I drove her home and we kissed goodnight. The next day she sent me a text saying that her 'love for me grew everday'. I sent her a text back saying 'I loved her too'. The next day I sent her a text saying we should get soup, as the weather was cold. Her reply text was, 'since July the only people who have provided her soup was the Unemeployment Office and her family' I was gobsmacked by that reply for a number of reasons. First I have paid for everything, almost without fail, since we have been going out as well as provide her with funds for various things and expensive presents. (she has been unemployed since July). Also I asked her to marry me in September and she accepted and I agreed to support her completely when we are married, which is supposed to be in March. This I might add includes taking on debts that she has built up. The second reason I was astounded with her reply was that she had told me that she had been estranged from her family for ten years and if she ever got sick not to tell them. So I asked if she had been talking to her family and she said she had since I proposed. Since then I have sent her flowers and said I am there for her and reiterated my love and support, but she responds with curt texts or not at all. I have tried to call, and her phone is either turned off or she won't answer and she never calls back if I leave a message. I literally don't know what is happening here, we have had many many months of a strong loving relationship and much fun and now this comes out of the blue. What do I do? Please help.
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male
reader, Drewau2005 +, writes (24 November 2008):
Drewau2005 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi thank you. I had considered bipolar or some sort of dissonance. I am not a psychologist or a MD but her swings triggred by stress makes me wonder.Any ideas on what I could do to get her help? She is very stubborn on things. I have tried to suggest she see a psych and she agreed and I gave her some money, but I don't think she has gone. She is 35 and I am 45.
A
male
reader, Drewau2005 +, writes (24 November 2008):
Drewau2005 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes I have. She says that I haven't done enough to be her husband and a father. However this accusation has come out of the blue. I have done so much,and she has expressed appreciation. It doesn't sqaure.
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A
female
reader, katatonik  +, writes (24 November 2008):
 It sounds like, at the very least, there are some things the two of you need to work through/sort out before marriage. You are engaged to her and she won't return your calls? Not knowing her side of the situation, that still sounds extremely childish on her part, and it also sounds as if she hasn't quite been honest with you. I'd proceed with extreme caution on this one, if you want to proceed at all.
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