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How do I cope?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Faded love, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 February 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 6 February 2009)
A male United States age , anonymous writes:

I am a 59 year old man who has been going out with 47 year old woman for 8 years. We have broken up 4 times and she has come back to me every time. We love each other I thought. She has a 21 year old son who quit college and had 2 job delivering food and got fired. He delivers nuclear medicine. She got him the job. We had 2 small incidents and he said he would kill me if I came to condo and then he said I was not allowed in their condo. I was not allowed in her condo for 2 1/2 years. I told her to confront him and ask him if we can talk. She said she didn't like confrontation. Two years ago I got prostate cancer and it put a big damper on our love life. I moved out of state for job and hardly saw her, I moved back and she was temporarily happy. She hardly saw me the last 3 months and recently around New Year's broke up with me, dumped me and informed me she went on match.com in early DEC met a 44 year old guy and is very happy. She left me, I text her 6 times and wrote 8 letters. I begged her to come back to me. She has moved on with this guy. I am devastated, how do I cope? I cry a lot and think about her all the time?

View related questions: broke up, moved out, text

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

OH no, never cheated, loved her with all my heart, never would.She lived in condo and her son who lost 2 jobs, fired and she got him 3rd job. and I had 2 incidents. Younger son 12 has asberger syndrome. At the time, my girlfriend was sick, I brought her medicine, knocked on condo door, kid didn't hear me, playing video games and said hey you didn't

knock. I said yes did, I know manners. that's it. 2nd incident, I was at her condo, I said to 19 yr old. How you doing my boy. He said I am not your boy, I have a father. I said it is a term of endearment, i have a son. that's it.2 very minor instances and he later said I am not allowed in condo or he would hurt me he told my girlfriend and she said, I won't tell him its my house my rules, i asked her too. She said she doesn't like confrontation. I never was allowed in condo in 21/2 years she always came over here or went out.

That is the story. She has made it clear in emails, texts and all, she has moved on with 44 yr old man and that is it.

8 yrs gone in 5 weeks. He is already there for dinner every night I saw his car and they are going full bore. She told me over the phone last conversation ever 2 weeks ago, she is very happy and has moved on. I am devastated

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A female reader, 48years  +, writes (6 February 2009):

48years agony auntHey, I already gave you some of my best answers on your other post, but now I have more info...Short answer: Do you want her back? Send her roses. They are hard to ignore. ...and back off until she contacts you (don't worry, she will... 8 years is a long time to be a part of someone's life)

But first, what incident did you have? Did you cheat on her?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you for the great answer it is much appreciated

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2009):

Wow, this woman has given you alot of heartache. 8 years is a long time of loving someone, but it was short of a real relationship with all the breakups, moving away,...there was just no stability to it.

I'm not sure she was a good match for you. Tears come in the evening, but joy can return in the morning. Once you put closure on this, you can open up your heart to someone new. Don't think about age, people are dating in their 80's! Wouldn't you rather love a woman without all the drama? Someone that makes you feel wanted and at home.

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