A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:my problem is that it feels like im dating a man sometimes! my girlfriend is CONSTANTLY checking out other men, all the time, whenever i catch her she says 'sorry' and that she didnt realize she was doing it. she admitted to me that she looks at them because they are attractive and i asked her if she is ever thinking of cheating and she said no. also she goes out to see male strippers about once a month with a group of her girlfriends and has also admitted to me that she often gets a lap dance and dances with the strippers, as in, she grinds against them as well. about a year and a half ago she even ended up sleeping with one of these strippers but this is back when we were just friends. when we were just friends she told me that the strippers are very sexy, and that she can 'always tell which ones are gay' so she 'always goes for the straight ones just in case they're up for some afterhours fun'. she has kissed several strippers. she told me that she doesnt have sex with or kiss them anymore, but she does dance with them and admire them.she says that she is just a very visual person and likes watching their physique. i am not a scrawny man or a fat man, i am in pretty good shape but i know i am not nearly as built up as the strippers. she is a very attractive girl and i know that she could have any man she wants, and she says she wants me but her constant drooling over other men drives me nuts. she has posters of halfnaked men on her bedroom wall, and a 'stud' calendar hanging in her kitchen. it feels like im dating a teenage boy sometimes, ive never known girls to like looking at men. girls dont really check men out, or like looking at them dancing, they are more interested in love and emotions and stuff. i dont do any of the things she does, i havent been to a strip club other than the one time at a stag party and i didnt really enjoy it, felt sleazy, and the women werent really my type. i certainly dont check out other women, im faithful to her 100%, i think shes gorgeous. she has lots of good qualities, this is really the only issue in our relationship. i trust her that she wont cheat on me, but sometimes i feel like im not good enough to keep her interested, since she always sees attractive men everywhere she goes. i thought this would change if she and i started dating (i asked her out and knew what she was like but thought it was because she was single). it hasnt. what do i do?ps the sex is great and everything else is great too, i dont want to break up with her, just find a way to cope with her visual nature.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, BubbaTech  +, writes (31 October 2008):
She is not a keeper Bro.
she is a party girl, fun having sex with, drop on a moments notice, booty call kind of gal.
that is your problem, if you want to find a settle down kind of gal, look for a settle down kind of gal.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2008): Lol, well this is diffrent! She's properly the look, but don't touch type of person. If I was you, I put my foot down on seeing strippers, she has no need to keep seeing them. With her looking at other guys, well look at other girls and see how she likes it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2008): My dear friend,
Like you said, this is only one aspect of your girlfriend's behaviour that you don't like. You do like the sex. I wonder if the sex is better in any sense because she is more clued up physically, more confident and positive about what makes her tick. You are and probably were always in awe of her, and that is what you find attractive. Trouble is, now you are in a relationship it matters to you that she should be a little in awe of you? I wonder what her motives for being with you are? Are you dependable, reliable, a perfect best friend? Don't sell yourself short. If that is all she wants you for she'd be better off with a good platonic confidante. Intimate, 1:1 relationships work best, nay, work properly only when there is mutual respect. I don't think she respects you, or maybe even not men in general. Perhaps she has had some stuff in her past that has left her needing to 'right' some injustice, and that is why she likes to see male strippers. It isn't normal enough for you. You are not weird, but happiness lies in doing good and knowing good. Is she doing something good in all this 'porn'?? no. are you and she knowing the good that comes in committed, faithful, loyal partnership? No. Suggest she takes time to reflect on her lewdness. And you? Value yourself more highly, leave this relationship and look for a nice girl who is ready to appreciate you.
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