How do I convince my parents to accept my boyfriend and allow me to marry him?

Tagged as: Family, Forbidden love, Troubled relationships

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Question - (22 June 2012)

3 Answers - (Newest, 24 June 2012)

A female age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I have been in a committed relationship for almost 2 years now. I live in India and my parents are pretty strict About religion and caste stuff. The guy i love is from a different religion and lower social status. I told my parents abut us 6 months ago and hoped that they'll approve of him. They already knew the guy and were fond of him too. However everything went downhill from there on. The current situation is that my mother has left me the clear choice, either my family or him. I am not willing to leave my family so we mutually decided to break up. But i cant forget him. I love him too much. And if i could, i would marry him today itself. But our love is forbidden and my parents will never let me be with him. I don't want to put his future on line to. I instead want to convince my parents, make them see that love isn't so bad. How do i do that? I really need help. Every second i spend away from him, he and i both suffer..

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2012):

You are an adult. It's time to start acting like one and make your own decisions and deal with the consequences.

If you want the guy, be with him. Legally speaking, I'm sure your parents have little say in who you choose to date or marry. That is THEIR religious beliefs and if you don't feel as they do then to parrot their beliefs and adhere to them fully, is an insult to them and all they hold dear. Because you are mocking what they believe, not truly believing or respecting it.

You can go after what your heart wants and be happy. Or you can do what your parent's religions asks you to do and be miserable. Your choice.

Flynn 24

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A female reader, 5ftsweet +, writes (23 June 2012):

I feel so bad for you! I don't understand why parents do this to their adult children. Could you sit down and have a conversation between you, him, your mother and father? Find out their reasons for not wanting the two of you to be together? Is it just an issue of caste or is there something else? That alone should not stop you from being together.

If it helps you feel better, my father's parents didn't really want him to marry my mother. Not because there is anything wrong with my mother. It was just a difference of religion. A minor one. My father married her anyway, and had several arguments with his mother about it, including a period of time where they did not talk to each other. But eventually she accepted it...and 30 years later my parents are still married and have raised 4 children together. So if it's real love...it will last.