A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: My ex broke up with me at the end of November for a few reasons but mainly because she got sort of bored and wasn't in love with me anymore. However, she admits that because neither of us have changed she could fall in love with me again but doesn't want to because she 'knows where the story ends'. I believe, however, that we're meant for each other, and she even admits that we were the best couple (although we are young and don't have much experience). Anyway, is this the case, that we will never work again? If not, how do I convince her to let herself fall in love with me again?
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2008): Well if thats the case just give her some space and time to sort her head out then! These things happen naturally and over time.
I wish you all the best anyway
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI only want to convince her to LET HERSELF fall in love with me - she's admitted that she could easily love me again.
Needless to say, a situation, (which I haven't mentioned above, and don't want to say now - it's nothing to do with fidelity or bad things like that) drifted us apart - well we didn't lose any feelings, it made us unhappy and insecure about our future together, and she told me yesterday that if this wasn't the case we'd still be together.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2008): You can't MAKE or CONVINCE anyone fall in love with you again. By forcing feelings on some one you will only drive them further away from you - I know cos I am speaking from experience!
My boyf and I had similiar troubles to you and when I told him how I felt he said he would change, do things diffently etc and yes it was fine at the start. But after a few months we slipped back into the same old routine again.
I broke it off with him as I couldn't stand the same boring routine!! He kept pursing me tho with promises of the eath moon and stars if I'd go back to him. But I felt that by going back I was taking 10 steps backwards in my own life rather than moving on. He bombarded me, my parents, my brothers with calls and txts asking them to get me to ring him!
He thought he was doing the right thing but he wasn't - he didn't see that even tho he thought I hadn't changed, I actually had and that I wanted more out of life! If he had given me the space and time that I needed who knows where we'd be today!
My advice to you is if you have told your g/f how you feel, thats as much as you can do. She might realise that after a few weeks you are the right person for her. Or you might realise that your feelings have changed for her also - who knows?
Get on with your own life for the moment. Let her see that you have a life besides her too! Best of luck with things!
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