A
male
age
26-29,
*aintballer4life9494
writes:Heres my situation,me and my gf ahve been dating for about three months and her parents wont let her see me unless her mom goes. And her mom wont let us hang out at each others houses. Also i have family in vero beach which is about two hours away from our houses and her mom wont let her go to the beach with me even though there will be alot of adults there. She said her mom thinks she is to young to have a bf, and that she is worreid that we would engage in sexual activities. Me and her have talked about it and we both agreed that we would not do anything like that until we were married. I am only thirteen and she is fourteen. Here is the question, would it help if i like talked to her mom about the situation and tell her that i am not like most guys and that she really can trust me? Also what can i say to her mom that might convince her that i am a goof kid and that i really really like if not love her daughter? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunty_rach  +, writes (19 October 2008):
they sound very protective of her. the best thing you can do is just try and get to know them better and then they will see you're a nice normal guy. tell them you and her want to go out on a date by yourselves, but they can drop you there and pick you both up at the times that they want. i know this sounds annoying, but even say that you or her will call them at some point to let them no she is ok and enjoying herself. they need to give her some space otherwise they never will. i have a friend who's parents are like this and now that she is 22, she has had no relationships or even dates. so it;s important for you to make sure that you and her parents come together and agree on things. don't rebel and sneak out or anything, it will only make it worse. maybe then if they allow you and her in her room to watch a dvd or whatever tell them you will leave the door open, that way they can keep any eye on both of u if they want to. it;s all about gaining their trust.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (19 October 2008):
I have to agree with Q.
Getting to know her parents will help your cause, but surely since you've been going out on dates with her mum, you should have been getting to know her too and showing her what a fine upstanding young man you are.
There is no way I or most other parents would let their 14 year old daughter go on holiday with a boy, even if it's with his family.
If you care about her then continue to see her on their terms. Trying to push for more will just make it look like you want more.
If she is chaperoning your dates then she will see the way you act towards her daughter and that is going to show her more than talking to her will.
You just have to give it a few years and gain trust through actions not words.
Good Luck!! xx
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