A
female
age
30-35,
*untyAlexxmo
writes:Well im used to answering these things not writing them but oh well, i love my gf/ex-gf very much and i want to be with her but our realtionship isnt good and we have tried many times, this time i think she does mean it when she says she wants to end so my question is:how do i convince her not to end it when i dont think i deserve her in the first place, i can be such an arse she deserves more but i want that to be with me.advise please and keep all stupid comments to ones selves Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2010): You can't show her anything until you figure out the root cause of the arguments. But I'm not telling you anything you don't know.
Look when a relationship is "bad" and you have to keep trying and trying to make it work then sometimes as we both said it's not meant to be. I mean two people can love each other very much but if you're fighting all the time and it's a regular long term battle then it can be hopeless.
If this was a new thing brought on by external circumstances like stress from losing a job or something like that, something that could be worked through then you could focus on fixing that but this doesn't sound that way. Sometimes when the dust settles on a relationship, the passion fades and the honeymoon period is over. Then sometimes people just realize they just don't get on. Seriously it doesn't matter how much they love each or how much both of them want it to work some things just can't be overcome because besides what you might want to believe if you've been here a while now you know that love doesn't actually conquer all. It sounds like you too are just incompatible in the long term.
Go to relationship counseling, I think it's the final step you can take to see if you can fix this. I wish you luck, because I really have never seen two people who fight all time work in the long term, I always just see two miserable people fight to preserve an on/off failing relationship never able to move on or let go because they love each other and miserable because it just never works.
A
female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo +, writes (3 December 2010):
AuntyAlexxmo is verified as being by the original poster of the question i think people are getting the wrong end of this, my gf tells me shes loves me wants to be with me, we have been together a long time, but its the arguements ans things she dont want and the only way to fix them she can see is to end it which neither of us want, i guess what i want is how do i show her there are other ways and what are they
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2010): Sorry, I have no suggestions for you..maybe the other Aunts will. I do have some comments though. I am viewing your situation in this way. Plainly your girlfriend is not happy and she wants to end this relationship. But you want to convince her to stay with you, in a relationship where she is unhappy. Am I right? So why do you need ideas to keep her with you, when you know she is unhappy?? I don't get that.
So I have to ask, do you really 'love' her as you say you do? If you did, you would want her to do whatever it take for her to seek a happier path, in her life. Even if that means leaving you. This is not a no-win situation, here.
But I do think she has every right to end this, if she feels this is wrong for her. For her to act from what she know is right, really takes character. She's unhappy...let her go!
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2010): This may be a stupid comment but if even you don't think you deserve her then how can she ever think you do?
"our realtionship isnt good and we have tried many times" I think it's time you faced the fact it's not going to work. End of story.
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