A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:~I'm Out of Control~I can't sleep.I don't know how to control my emotions when it comes to my Ex and so I always end up taking a mile when she gives me an inch.My emotions for my ex feel so good...but...at the same time they have me so unbalanced because until she entered my life I had always been in control of my emotions. My ex recently returned to me...as a friend...and that's is best for the both of us, as neither one of us are ready for a relationship. I am in love with my ex, and I want to share the rest of my life with her...but...I need to start out as friends where she and I can just go with the flow...learn one another...enjoy one another...void of preessure...and she wants to get to know me to...as she expressed today...but I keep fucking up and allowing my in love emotions to come out and aching for her to take me intimately.Our breakup was sinful...but required. We started off as two bulls in a china closet...didn't even take the time to learn and enjoy one another...were never intimate...but our attraction was so intense we kept returning to one another.I never shared this with her...but I think one of the problrems on my end is that I was becoming rebellious because I was losing my self control to her and no matter how hard I fought her to keep it she ended up taking the control from me rendering dependant upon her emotionally...I don't know....all I know is it's not good to be this way...I need to know how to control my emotions for my ex, as they are getting in the way of me being able to learn her and enjoy her and just be her friend.I am so damn in love with her but I'm not strong enough and in control enough of my love for her right now to do what means most to me regarding her...I just want to be her friend, because I need to learn her and she me.I'm also suffocating her...because I am scared to ease up and just relax for a fear that she might think I'm not interested in maybe a future together...but I don't want that to be an issue...but it's appearing as an issue when it's not an issue at all because my fearing that if I enjoy my independence and just chill naturally I might lose her...I hope you all can understand what I'm trying to explain and share advice....
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female
reader, Bella555 +, writes (24 November 2010):
I lost my ex bf, potentially forever, because I couldn't get a handle on my wild, out of control feelings for him. Plus, I suffered from a severe lack of confidence that I deserved the relationship and his love. My insecurities and anxieties caused me to make many devastating decisions, ultimately driving him into the arms of another.
Take some time away from your ex and all other distractions and allow for some serious introspection on who you are, why your feelings are running amok, what you want out of this relationship (concrete goals that can be reasonably attained), and what you can do to achieve those goals. Consider moving slowly and subtly, and pace yourselves, so you can grow lasting bonds with one another. Otherwise, one or the other of you will become tired with the onslaught of time and your love will wear thin, no matter how attracted you were to each other in the beginning.
As for emotional relinquishment in a relationship, once again, don't overwhelm each other at the start of things and you won't necessarily feel lost in your partner or dominated. The exchange of emotions will hopefully become one of mutual satisfaction and enjoyment.
Time it right...spend enough time together that you have fun, and know when to leave and give each other the space most adults require. Then it'll feel that much more intense when you get together the next time, and the next time, and so on.
Good luck!
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