A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am really struggling at work. I work with 15 women, all of whom are in relationships/marriages and all but one of them has children as well. My relationship ended late last year making me the only single woman in the office. I've never really felt like I belong there, because all they talk about is their relationships and their children and I feel there is more to life than that. Even when I was with my partner, I never talked about our relationship. I can't think of anything more boring. However, since I broke up with my partner I feel even more alone than before, like I'm not part of their 'club'. I have absolutely nothing in common with them. I told one of the girls what I had been through, but she is constantly boasting about her relationship to anyone who'll listen. I feel like she is 'rubbing my nose in it', but I don't think she realizes she's doing it. I feel I can't contribute anything to their conversations because I haven't been through marriage/children. One comment the other day was that 'you become a lot more confident when you have children'. Well, having not been through it, what could I contribute? It's bad enough that my relationship ended, but to have to hear how amazing 14 other people's relationships are just seems extremely insensitive! Very few of them have shown me any real support.I get the impression that they have absolutely no idea what to talk to me about. I have considered leaving my job because of this.
View related questions:
at work, broke up, I work with Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, laydee37  +, writes (23 May 2010):
Hey there!Hmm.. I see your problem!Just because you don't have kids and you're currently not in a relationship doesn't mean you can't still interact with your work mates!Strike up a conversation when you can!You could perhaps begin with a topic that concerns your work together! Talk about tv shows, celebs or anything that comes to your mind!Or if one of them is for example talking about simething her boyfriend did that she didn't like.. You could give her advice on what to do or tell her that you too had a previous experience like that!Show them that you still can talk about relationships even if you're not in one and you're ok with that!Initiate the conversations yourself and go with the flow!Good luck and I hope I helped! :)Take care! :)
A
female
reader, laetitia  +, writes (23 May 2010):
 Hi, I've been in your situation - surrounded by people in relationships, when you're single and feeling lonely.
The women in your work will not be able to understand you or to offer you any support. You can't expect that from them anyway. You also cannot act all depressed and upset that you're the only single one at work. Life is not fair and those ladies have nothing to do with it. You just gotta accept that it is not your time yet and that it will come one day. Be happy the way you are and focus on your WORK at work!
Moreover, you or your colleagues should never bring their relationship problems to work. Why is this girl boasting about her relationship at work?? Why are you listening to her and encouraging her to talk? Work is not a place to brag about relationship or marriage.
If any of the other ladies ever talks about their kids, then laugh with them. Ask them questions and compliment them about their children. Everyone is proud of their children and wants others to be happy about them. This would be one way for you to contribute to the conversation - by asking generic questions about their children and sympathizing.
Since you're single and free of family obligations, you can travel on weekends! Going on vacation will equip you with tons of interesting stories to tell them and which have nothing to do with relationships or marriage. This is how you can contribute to the conversation.
Another way to contribute is sharing cooking recipes. Women love this kinds of stuff.
Finally, you should not consider changing your job for such a reason unless there is gossip and drama that you cannot handle, which doesn't sound like your situation. I think that you just need to accept your situation and be happy they way you are!
...............................
|
