A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:HELP!! I cheated on my boyfriend to get revenge on him for cheating but I haven't been able to tell him. I know he'll get jealous, but I'm afraid he will break up with me and I don't want that because things are great now. He thinks he's the only guy I've kissed, but I've kissed 4 other guys since I've been with him. I didn't have sex with any of them. I recently cut all ties with my side pieces and I want to come clean. We've gotten pretty serious lately and I don't want any skeletons to come out of the closet. His Aunt told me that he talked to her about us getting married and he keeps on asking me about moving in together within a year. I love him, but we were young when we met and we both did some pretty foolish and selfish things. I'm really a good girl and he's a good guy. I know people will probably say break up if all we do is cheat! But I honestly think if we were to move in together it would stop the cheating. We're in a long distance relationship because my university is hours away. I haven't heard anything about him cheating and I haven't done anything in 8 months. How do I come clean? Or should I keep quiet and take it to the grave?
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cheated on my boyfriend, jealous, long distance, revenge, university Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2011): Also, I forgot to mention is that I only started flirting once we had broken up and when we got back together I didn't completely cut all the guys off. There was this one time when we broke up for a few months, I dated...he found out and lost his mind! I don't want it to happen again. I didn't kiss that guy though. On top of that, he never fails to bring it up 2 years later. (4 Year Relationship) I don't think I should tell him but if it comes out a different, I'm beyond screwed.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2011): I never said distance was a reason to cheat. I was stating that because our relationship is a lot more fragile because of the distance and it causes problems when we argue to have distance between us.
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A
female
reader, blackdiamond  +, writes (6 September 2011):
take it too the grave otherwise u will never hear the end of it and it will be the end..
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A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (6 September 2011):
 you only kissed the guys and you are young and he had cheated on you already and the relationship was not as good as it is now - and for these reasons i would say, don't tell him. its not worth the upset it will cause. he will not trust you if he knows what you did and there is also a chance of him counter-cheating to get revenge on YOU (as he has cheated in the past he will not have a problem using this as a punishment)
so seriously, don't tell. you seem to be full of guilt and regret over this so i think you have learned your lesson not to do it again. put it behind you now. remember the guilty feelings if you are ever tempted to cheat again
x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2011): imho? take it to the grave. people who admit to that shit do it only to make themselves feel less guilty. all telling him would do is cause him immense amounts of pain.
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A
female
reader, StormySeas +, writes (5 September 2011):
I'm very far from perfect, and have gotten myself into many situations that felt impossible to get out of. You know the right thing to do, I think... But you also know what could happen by coming clean. Something you need to consider is that sometimes taking the "easy" way out (which in this situation is not to come clean, can end up causing more trouble. As I write this, I consider trying to take a new "short-cut" which adds an extra two hours of chaos to my life... And, I am not saying that will happen in your case, but suppose you do keep this to yourself and you do end up getting married. If the truth was somehow reveled at that point in your life it could do more damage to your relationship that just coming clean now. Though it may be difficult to do, you are probably making yourself sick over it now. Relationships should be built from trust, and telling him the truth could bring you both to a better place in your relationship.Take a deep breath... And, remember that you are human. We all have needs that need to be met, and it is very easy to allow yourself to drift off especially if you have been hurt. Best of luck in making your decision.... hang in there!
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A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (5 September 2011):
 You need to tell him the truth. He's entitled to know if his gf is being faithful or not and you owe it to yourself to clear your conscience. If you don't tell him, then this relationship will have no honesty from your part. And if you keep this from him, how would you know if he really loved and wanted to be with you? He may not want to be with a cheater even though he's made his mistakes. So tell him because he deserves to know.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2011): Distance is not an excuse to cheat.I think you should tell him, and explain that all of this happened before, now youre serious and really love him. He might forgive you, he might not. Its a chance worth taking
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