A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys please helpI feel low I need help to restore my reputation at workI started 13 weeks ago and don't laugh but every week continuously was bringing in sweets etc trying to be nice with my team it was good to startBut other areas noticed and popped by and I gained a reputation for always bringing them in etcNow my manager has gone from thinking I'm professional to God knows what He's always commenting on me being too helpful etc tooPlease don't judge in hindsight it was dumb but now what ?I'm back Monday I need a clean slatePlease help me
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2015): Stay human and warm and friendly, what a beautiful quality.You are an asset to any business and so what if you are remembered for been human, that is what is lacking in many working environments. Professional does not mean robot, but if people are stopping work to eat doughnuts then maybe your timing could be a little better. I wish i had a co-worker who brought sweets into work, many are miserable sods, in fact some think it is a weakness to smile even unprofessional. In hospital working environments, Look at how clowns put a red nose on to help heal patients, how foolish this once appeared to medical staff and still frowned upon , because of how some people perceive professionalism. Now it is recognised that humour(clowning) and humanity can help heal patients and Professional training exists. Point- Because you express your humanity with work colleagues this does not make you unProfessional, it makes you build real relationships based on friendship.It's a sad world when we are scared to give a sweet to a work colleague in case we look unprofessional...sheeple, id rather be fired than sacrifice been human.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionGuys you are awesome
Your advice actually made me cry
I know why I did what I did
My self esteem and confidence are very low from a previous horrific job
I guess I was trying to overcompensate
But all I've done now is make my boss think I'm crazy ;(
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2015): You've established the fact you're a nice person. All you really have to do is excel at your job. Your boss only made an observation and you took it too literally. Reserve the treats for holidays or special occasions.
Show your professional side, and all will fall into place.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (7 November 2015):
 Stop bringing in sweets and do your job. Anticipate what might be needed and get that done before it's even asked. Make your boss look good. I assume you want to be appreciated for being a good person which is why you put so much emphasis on the sweets thing.
It's time to put your emphasis on doing an amazing job in your position.
I would go in on Monday with no candy. I would also pop into the boss's office near to the end of the day and thank him for his guidance. I would ask him to give you 3 tips for getting along in the office.
Basically, let him know you are willing to learn and change.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (6 November 2015):
You can bring in sweets and still be professional IMHO - however if people start to EXPECT that you bring in snacks once a week then I would stop.
IF you think it's the snacks/sweets that makes your boss thing you are not professional, then stop bringing them in.
Being "too helpful" might be his way of saying that YOU need to learn to say no to doing things that isn't your job. That you are more busy trying to please everyone instead of doing your job.
So focus on your job and maybe a little less on socializing at work?
You don't GET a clean slate, no matter what you do. But you CAN prove to your boss that he got you wrong by showing him that you can do your hob and that you are good at it.
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