A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Currently I'm dating a man I find somewhat challenging, and that is part of the reason I'm dating him. He's very flirtatious with other women, and since he is very attractive and lavish with his attention to them, they give him a lot of attention in return. He also seems to have a lot of female friends and girls he hangs out with. His "attentions" with them include physical contact, such as holding hands and playful slapping, etc.I'm somewhat insecure and jealous in general, and part of the reason I'm dating him is because I want to be broken of these traits. We have a lot in common and he's just fun to be with, but normally that kind of behavior with other women would be a dealbreaker, and I'm trying to get over that attitude. I'm just wondering, from other women who might have experience dating attractive, flirtatious guys who give and receive a lot of female attention... how do you deal with it?What I'm looking for is a way to change my own attitude about this, instead of asking him to change his behavior. I'd really rather not even talk to him about it, because I think it has more to do with my attitude than his actions. Thanks!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (18 May 2009):
Personally I couldn't deal with it. I don't get why you think you should.
I'm all for flirting and having friends and having fun. But it should not be such a big thing that your partner sees it / knows about it.
I would never flirt in front of my husband, it's just disrespectful.
Your partner comes first, ahead of all the little bits of fun with friends.
So if you really want to get over the fact he does this then just make sure he only does it when you don't know about it. When he's out alone.
As long as there are lines he does not cross and you trust him then it's fine for you to go out and have a bit of harmless flirting with friends, and him to go out with his.
Just don't do it where he can see.
Good Luck!! xx
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