A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a soft bondage fetish, nothing extreme. I have read around on the subject of bringing it up and I realise that I have to start with fuzzy handcuffs etc. until she's ready.However, how should I bring up the conversation? I have been with my girlfriend for nearly two months, is it too soon? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2012): It's waaaay too soon. She has to be able to trust you completely, to be confident that once you've tied her up you'll respect all her boundaries and will untie her when she's had enough. Two months is not anywhere near enough time.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2012): You have to take it verrrrry slowly.
There is a very narrow line between bondage and rape. If you frighten her, she may run away and never come back. Worse than that, she may never be able to enjoy sex for the rest of her life. For the moment, I advise that you throw those handcuffs away.
She might be submissive already or she might learn to be. Girls can learn to enjoy different sexual activities, as long as they are comfortable. So that's your key to success: Gain her trust and make her comfortable. It may take a few weeks or a few months or even a few years.
When she's in the mood, ask her about her opinion on role playing. See if she likes to be spanked for example.
As I said, go verrrry slowly, or you may be accused of rape.
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A
female
reader, Deagan  +, writes (28 February 2012):
 You've been dating for 2 months, you list yourself as the age of 18-21 so I imagine she's around that age as well. So I'm going to say it's too soon. Don't bring it up yet, you're going to scare her.
That is unless of course, she seems like a dominant person and seems to be displaying signs that she's into it as well. I doubt it.
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (28 February 2012):
 ONLY TWO months? Do you consider this to be a long time, or a short time?
How old are you? Was she a virgin? Is she experienced? Do you want to scare the living daylights out of her?
Two months, 8 weeks, 60 days +/- ....... how many times have you had sex? How long have you been sexually active with her?
These are all questions that need to be considered.
If she is inexperienced, throwing something in that takes away any control she has over the situation may actually frighten her.
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