A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I can't get up the courage to ask this guy out somewhere. I guess I'm just scared of rejection. He's a super nice guy and I don't think he would embarrass me or anything, I just can't bring myself to do it. I have social anxiety which I think might be part of the problem, I get nervous just messaging him on Facebook. I get panicky when I see him in the corridors. I don't know how to relax around him, even though we're friends. I really want to ask him out somewhere, but I don't know where, and I don't know how. Whenever the thought crosses my mind, I feel sick.
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male
reader, GentleGiant  +, writes (18 September 2013):
With all the social pressures upon the man to take the first step i fully understand your anxiety and frustration. Hey why dont you take some baby steps first. Call him up and say i am just finished visiting my girlfriend and i just wondered if i could buy you a starbucks latta or some other drink? i am in the neighbourhood. Be honest because he will probably ask you why and you tell him right out that you are interested in him and would like to get to know him better and you heard that he was not dating or attached to anybody at this point of time. Listen for his reaction, he will probably be honest and tell you up front if he is dating or seeing somebody else. Most guys wont refuse a free latta or coffee and he will more than likely accept. Be honest and up front and by your description he will come down and let you buy him a latta or coffee and be with you. From here once your at the coffee place you will have a opportunity to see what he is really like. No pressure in this situation and nothing to be upset or anxious about. There may be a spark ignition between the two of you which will allow you to build chemistry and then potentially a good long and lasting relationship. But maybe nothing will happen at least you havent put yourself all out and be in for a bad let down. I willing to bet if there is a spark between the two of you he will then ask you out on a formal date. Take it slow but sure and tell him how you feel. I am feeling anxious and excited, he can see that but by verbalizing this yourself it will set the tone and i am sure your first date will go well. Good-luck and dont worry it will all work out well.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2013): You sound exactly like me... Well a few years ago! I used to have serious social anxiety and the thought of even asking someone I liked for th time was chilling! Maybe test the waters, be touchy feely, do your best to flirt, then ask something like "when are you taking me out then?" but Do you honestly think you can handle rejection now? I agree with iamheretohelp, I think you should talk to someone, your parent, the doctor and he can give you the best help in coping/ improving your social anxiety.. As in a.combination of medication and therapy, it's a lot easier to handle.I think you might hurt yourself if you do anything reckless though... Try and test the waters before you go straight in there and ask. I was in a similar situation and I never made it! He went off to uni and I just didn't have the bottle...! Rejection is a part of life... Yes it feels like something's eating away at you when it happens, but people have their reasons, their agendas, and EVERYONE gets rejected. Sometimes they are even into you, it's just not the right time For them... I wish you well and that you get some help for your situation xxxx
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