A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Gawd...can someone give me some decent advice? I'm 35 and am seeing this beautiful girl that I absolutely love and adore.We've been seeing eachother for almost a year and we've had a lot of ups and downs, primarily arguing about stupid stuff.One big problem I have had in the past is showing public displays of affection (or as she calls them: PDAs!) - I have got a lot better but she goes off the wall if I don't walk in somewhere with my arm around her or direct pretty much all of my attention towards her. Example: I walked into a pub on my birthday and people were wanting to talk to me and wish me well and she noticed this and told me she was upset that I left her at the bar. Am I a total idiot?? I just didn't really think!The arguing is becoming destructive but we both love each other (pretty sure she still does) and have broken up a few times only for the next day to patch things up. She knows she is difficult and has even said that she wouldn't go out with her let alone anyone else. She knows she is sometimes difficult and she picks at things. She is also quite needy and clingy and I'm not really. I want to end up marrying this girl and she sais right from the start she wants to do the same.Help! - How can I bring balance to this relationship and the girl I so love and adore!? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2008): Thanks for all your help!!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2008): Sounds like she is the one with the problem and she can't expect so much attention all the time. Suggest she has counselling.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2008): That was really selfish of her to 'take' away your limelight on your birthday. Sometimes a girl wants a guy to confront her in a firm way. Like "I love you, but your attitude/behavior was rude and ..." If you want us to get married, things will need to change or improve"Girls like her are insecure. She needs affirmation that you love her. But it can be draining, so maybe if you're going out, start a conversation BEFORE of "I want to make sure we have a good time tonight. If I talk to my friends, just remember You're the one most important in my life. And give her looks across the room that say, "I'm yours, your mine." she'll love it.
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A
female
reader, Asked Angel +, writes (4 December 2008):
 You are not going to want to here this but YOU can't. This is something your G/F has to work on. Is there something in the past that is causing this? This sound's like a confidence issue which may require some therapy to talk through what may be causing these issues.I'm not saying you can't help your G/F but if it is a confidence issue you G/F needs to address this as well.
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A
female
reader, petina1 +, writes (4 December 2008):
 She sounds very insecure. As you get to know her a bit better you will understand her needs more. I would suggest if she is clingy and you are with a crowd, just hold her hand, at least she knows you are still 'attached' to her and it won't stop you from talking to other people. Sounds like someone in her life has let her down and she needs more reassurance than most. She may settle more once you are married, that maybe what it will take to let her know you are serious about her. Stick to your guns though and don't let her stop you living how you would like because of her insecurities. I must admit, my partner of 30 years now, I used to be very insecure but I know he cares for me and in that confidence I'm not clingy with him anymore. hope this helps.
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