A
female
age
30-35,
*occergirl1990
writes:Last summer i was dating my current boyfriend, Jay. We were together for about four months and then broke it off because i was very needy and he was more independent. we didn't communicate much from about september through december. during this time i became very close with another guy, Jess. In january, Jay and i got back together and have been togehter since then. Two weeks ago, i cheated on him with Jess, who still likes me very much. i told Jay immediately after, and he forgave me straight away. my problem is that i like Jess a lot and Jess likes me a lot also. Jess and Jay are friends, and i don't want to ruin their friendship, and i also don't want to hurt Jay. I feel i need to do what is right for me, but i don't want to be/seem totally selfish. How do i break up with Jay without being a complete jerk?
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female
reader, soccergirl1990 +, writes (23 March 2008):
soccergirl1990 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthankyou very much
these are pretty different responses but both do help...
thanks again!
xoxo
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (21 March 2008):
 Ego problems? Can't stand an ex thinking badly of you?Sorry, they will. Just tell him honestly what is happening. If he hates you, so be it. Wanting your ex to think good of you, now THAT is selfish. "Oh honey, I am dumping you and breaking your heart, I was just playing with your feelings and using you for my own needs but please don't hate me okay, hugs!"Don't be a jerk, be honest and tell him to his face and accept that if you break someone's heart they are not going to think to nicely of you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2008): Just tell him 'you don't know what you want' that would be the truth. Then you can go to Jess. It also gives you the chance to go back to Jay if you change your mind again.Hope this helps.
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