A
female
age
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*ugestina
writes:I recently have come to the conclusion that the man that I have date for well over a year has never given me a straight answer about having a future. I have decided to end this agony on being with him. I had told him in April of last year that I didn't want to be stuck in the same flight pattern of just dating and that I needed a real commitment. I also informed him a few months ago that I would be moving from the area because it is too expensive to live in this area. He suggest to me that I should go farther south. About forty miles away. That is when I new that there would be no future for us. Oh by the way when he did come up with that suggestion about moving farther south I agreed that I should move farther than that. Like Florida. My question is that I have a few of his items along with him having some of my items in each others homes. How do I approach him with ending this relationship without getting messy. I already have written a email and I want to send it after we exchange the items. The email is very nice and it does explain why I have decided to end this relationship. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2008): Well, he doesn't seem to care TOO much from the sounds of it, him telling you to move far away from him & not ever giving you any indication that you may have a future together. So I'd just tell him how you feel, and say you'd like to exchange eachother's belongings.
A
female
reader, augestina +, writes (7 February 2008):
augestina is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you for responding to my original post. I do hope that the email that I do send him will provide closure for the both of us.
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A
male
reader, Moviefan +, writes (7 February 2008):
 Things will always be a little messy unless he has become emotionally unatached or expected this. Then he will still probably become a little upset but still. You can minimize this by telling him
A: In person(always makes things less damaging then telling someone over the net)
B:softly and calmly to minimize emotional trama or make sure the message can not be taken as you being cocky or rude.
C: Dont get mad if he gets mad its fighting with fire and will not work for the better.
Just keep calm and deal with him one step at a time and do not fall asleep or something while he waits for you to respond. If you dont respond back in reasonable time because this could really make him mad. And i still really reccomend telling him this in person it will make things better between you two in the long run. It made my ex telling me that she went back to her ex much much worse because she didnt have the nerve to tell me to my face.
I also think you should talk to him about this and make sure that you are not over reacting about how he is doing, maybe he is afraid of commitment wich is fixable. Or isnt sure about how well you two get along and if it could last that long. Or maybe he thinks you deserve better. And maybe he actually ment what he ment you should move farther south because it is much cheaper to live ther. I have family there and they pay 1/4 of what we do for at least 2x the land. You should maybe talk things out and if a god explaination doesnt come up for everything go along with your plan and break up with him.
And if he wants you to keep gift or give up gifts or something dont argue it will make things much worse. Avoid confrontation as much as possible.
I hope you can work this out like you hoped to.
Goodluck
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A
female
reader, Geeo  +, writes (7 February 2008):
Hi there, I think the best way to approach this situation is if you have his phone number then give him a call and explain that you would like your things back and would like to return his. If he starts to be immature then tell him you will send a friend to retrieve yourthings and return his..
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A
female
reader, lindz99 +, writes (7 February 2008):
just be honest and don't respond if he tries to be mean, stay calm and maybe meet in a "neutral" place. and if he insists that you keep gifts...don't argue!
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