A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've just turned 21 and have beenworking at my job for about 18 monthsnow. It started at last years work staffparty. Everyone was dancing, drinkingand partying, because i dont drink orsmoke, i kept myself one side and chatted to anyone who sat at the ourtable. So i went to the bathroom, when ireturned i found this lady sitting in myseat, i told her its fine, she can sitanywhere. I knew her name, she was 30and very attractive, we've never spoken to each other before because she worksin another dept. So we made small talkand made a few jokes. Then out of theblue i said to her "i would actually goafter you if you werent married", i said itas a joke, but i dont know why i said that, its not like me to say things likethat. She just looked at me and smiled.Then she went back to dance for an halfan hour. She then returned to my tableand sat next to me again. She thenleaned over and ask me quietly in my ear "is it true what you said earlier that youwould go after me if i wasnt married?", ithen said yes, because you attractive andbeautiful, what guy wouldnt? She thendidnt say anything and smiled. A few minutes later she leaned overagain whispered in my ear "so then a kissbetween us would be nothing right?" iwas so stunned by what she she said, ijust said "i guess not". Later that night afew of us were invited to the afterparty at a co-workers house. They then startedarranging transport to the after party,turned out she had to travel in the samecab as me. While on our way there, shejust leaned over and started kissing me,and i kissed her back, this went on till we arrived at the after party, and then wekissed a few times in the bathroom.When the night was over, we went ourseperate ways, and didnt see each otherfor a month because it was christmasholidays. When we returned to work, i had alreadykind of forgotton what had happend,because it never really meant anything tome. Then she came over to me lunchtime and asked me if i had forgottenwhat happend and if it meant anything to me. Not to sound insensitive i said no ididnt forget and yes it kinda meantsomething. She then asked me if wecould do it again sometime, and iagreed. To cut a long story short, we'vekissed numerous times and have had sex 5 times since then, all at work and itsonly been 5 months since its started.We've never seen each other outside ofwork. My problem is i want to break this affairoff with her, but i dont know how, itsalso messing with my emotions and ihate sneaking around, and also hateputting up a front for other co-workers,and i know what im doing is wrong, hurtful and unfair to her husband. I knowshes having marital problems becauseshe told me. I dont know how she mightreact if i break it off, because she told meshe loves me. I know no good can comefrom this, someone is going to get hurt. Please help
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2013): How to break it off... Just do it. Say it and be done with it. How she reacts with it is not your responsibility or your problem. You know what is going on is wrong and up until now you have been thinking with your penis. Now, you are using your brain and your integrity is kicking in. Listen to it, and follow through.
Lesson learned. Do NOT get involved with someone who is married/in a relationship and cheats on their spouse/partner regardless of what their excuses are or who they are blaming to try and justify what they are doing. No matter what kind of feelings you are having or developing for this women, she is tainted and you will get hurt in the end. She is not someone you will ever be able to trust.
A
female
reader, raiders  +, writes (4 May 2013):
 The best thing you can do is break it off. Someone will end up getting hurt either her cause she has some feeling for you or you by her husband if he were to find out. Just break it off as soon as possible.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (4 May 2013):
 All you can do is break it off. There's no easy answer. Never date a married woman or a cheater, because just think about if she and you got everything you want and she becomes free and you were with her. Then imagine her cheating on you the way she cheated on her husband.
Your relationship is going nowhere and you know it, and since she has no problem doing what she wants no matter who she hurts, then ending the relationship is your only option. She loves you after a secret affair and 6 times having sex? To me, that almost says scam. Her marital problems are her own business.
She's also a coworker, so you are definitely threatening your career over this. Get out while you can and do it decisively, no wishy-washiness.
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