A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I first met my new boyfriend this summer as he was back from university for the summer. We started off just as friends/colleagues and it turns out we both felt an instant connection. We clicked immediately. For me, I was just interested in him as a person, as I wasn't really looking for a relationship, plus the only time I ever saw him was infront of my ex boyfriend, who I remained friends with, so it was a little awkward talking to a new guy when my ex was standing right there.We didn't actually decide to be a couple until he left the are to go back to uni, which was when we confessed to each other that we were attracted to one another. He told me he had not had a girlfriend for 3 years and the reason was because he felt nothing inside him, on an emotional level, for another girl. He told me it's not about looks, it's about the person, and while he finds me attractive to look at, it was my personality that he fell for and that he felt an emotional connection with me, something that he had not felt for so long. This was 1 month ago. And even now we have still not managed to meet up, since he had pre booked his weekends weeks in advance, mostly with work related stuff. During the last 3 years while he has been single he has worked on himself through reading various personal development books and audios, and attending seminars and workshops. He definitely comes across as an upbeat positive character, who is very interesting to talk to, he has his own mind, but also listens and appreciates others. He is incredible. And he tells me I'm incredible. We have talked for hours and hours on the phone. The first week we were on the phone until 4am a few nights in a row...but obviously this became impractical, but we still chat on the phone most nights when we can and it's lovely, it's so easy. We both feel like we have known each other longer than we have, but it's only been 1 month since we decided we would be a couple. He even announced on a social media site he is in a relationship and all his friends were shocked as he had been single for so long. I've been in relationships in the past, and on dates etc, to know that this kind of thing doesn't come along too often. Infact I have only ever once had these feelings...obviously they grew deeper with time, but I mean at such an early stage I've only ever felt this once before, so I see this has potential. My problem is I am worried if we can make this work due to his busy schedule. He likes to plan things, everything has to be considered, in detail. We had planned to see each other this weekend but he had a presentation to prepare for and his computer completely crashed and wouldn't work at all. So, as frustrating as it was, it wasn't his fault. The annoying thing was he was just half an hour drive away and we couldn't even meet up for a cup of tea even. And today after his meeting, I can't understand why we couldn't meet up for a quick drink then. I'm sure he was exhausted thoigh, since he was up literally all night trying to fix his computer on Friday night/until 6am on Saturday. And then all day Saturday into the night on Sunday and then to his all day meeting!But I am worried. He likes to do his best in everything he does. He strives for perfection in everything. He is a very sensitive person in terms of feelings, and if I bring this up too often I don't want him to feel like he is failing me and break it off. I am finding it hard, because I have no idea when I will see him. If I did know that would be manageable. It's like going on a diet and not knowing when your next treat will be. But if you was on a diet and you knew you was having a treat once a week, or once a month, then it makes the whole thing more doable, in my eyes.I really like him. I know he likes me too. Is he too busy for a relationship? I have asked him, right at the start, and he said he wasnt. But he is in his last year at uni and has recently been told by his tutor that the workload is bigger than he originally anticipated. In my eyes, he only has half a year left in reality, cause it's all over in the summer. Plus he is back home at Easter and Xmas for a month at a time. In my head that's a goal, and a few other mini goals in between would be good too. If it was just a Joe Bloggs average guy I wouldn't bother, but I can feel it something more. Has anyone got any long distance relationship tips? What is best to say to him?Thanks for reading :-)
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (15 October 2015):
 The best thing to tell him is the truth. Truth is a big thing in a relationship. If you feel he has no time for you then you are probably right. It doesn't matter how busy he is if he really wanted to meet you then he would. It sounds to me like you are at the bottom of his priorities.
I think you need to take this slow and not rush in to anything as all the bits don't add up. Yes he has said all the correct things but he has not shown any of the actions as off yet. Maybe things will improve when he gets back at Christmas and you both have a proper chance to get to know each other.
I wish you all the best.
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