A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:how do i gain some confidence and get over anxiety? every think i do has its own worrys even pathetic stupid things, for example, im at the hairdressers tomorow and all ican think about is what to say and what to wear. i cant stand the way i look my body is way out of proportion big arse small upperbody i try and wear only certain cloths but its getting harder, so i wrry about how i look and if my body is looking out of proportion, i dont realy go out with friends for worrying about how i look, cos obviously i want to look attractive, some days i get up and think 'wow gorgeous' and i feal confident, other days i look in mirror and think 'my god im horrible no one would find me attractive'. im shy by nature and find it hard to talk to strangers like making a convosation stuff like that but all this nagativity adds up and is getting me down, i have had counselling in the past and it didnt help so dont realy know what to do. so my question is what do i do? how do i gain confidence ? is ther anythink i can do about my butt? which is the source of my low confidence due to fact i hate my figure and dont whant people to see it. how can i stop worrying about every little thing? please helpthanks :)
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (7 October 2011):
 The ironic thing is most girls would kill for a bigger bottom and my guess is that there are plenty of guys that admire your bum! It sounds like you have womanly curves and most men prefer this look to having nothing to grab on to, believe me. Off course someone could tell you this all day but you still wouldn't believe it. You need to gain self belief. To raise your confidence you need to do things that make you feel good. Try out hobbies that you would feel you would be good at and it is also a good way of making friends. A lot of people are shy and I know that it is not easy. But setting yourself weekly goals will help. Tell yourself that you are going to start a conversation with at least a certain number person a day and keep to it. The more you practise talking to people the more confident you will get. As for your figure well some people are just naturally curvy no matter what they try. Maybe you could join a gym and ask an instructor to give you a work out that would target that particular area.
A
male
reader, Daniel the love doctor  +, writes (7 October 2011):
 Thank you for posting your question. I'm sorry that you have low self-confidence. More often than not we are our own worst critics. So even if people may see you as smart, fun, or attractive, you may think otherwise. Here are a few things that you can do...
1. Make a list of pros. Write about 5-10 things that you like/love about yourself. Voice them to yourself daily. Allow it to be your list of positive affirmations.
2. Make a list of cons. But instead of dwelling on the issues, actually turn them into goals. Set up short-term and long-terms goals. For example, if you say that you think you're overweight,a short term goal may be to eat healthier, start working out and lose at least 5-10 pounds or so in 3-6 months. A long term goal for that would be to lose 20 pounds by the end of the year...or the start of the next year.
3. Get extra help. Surround yourself with positive people, join support groups, read confidence builder articles/books, go see another therapist (the one counselor that you saw previously just may not be the right fit).
Best Wishes!
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