A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My "friend" is getting married.Im happy for her,but the problem is that she asks for help with her dress and stuff... She seems ok now, But since we know each other wich is about 3 years,i ve never ever counted her as my close friend. Firstly, becouse she is opportunist and i do not like that kind of ppl,and secondly when given chance she took it to use me. I continued to commicate with her from different reasons,(more profesiional)and now i dont know what to do.Simply i do not want to even go to the wedding.She was unberable before,and not sympathetic at all.So how to react now?I really dont know.I wish her all the best but she didnt deserved to ask from me a favours she does..And i know i will feel uncomfortable and unnatrual if put on that situation... any help?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2007): In that case, I don't know. I would have to know her and the entire situation in order to tell you how I would handle it. It's a lot harder since you have to see her everyday. I don't see why you can't just go to the wedding but not have to be her close friend? Or maybe make something up as to why you can't be there, like you got sick? I'd slowly start drifting off from her, like when she's talking act like you're not listening, etc.. Or perhaps tell her staright up that you really don't have time to be so involved with the whole wedding thing. She may be hurt or mad, but what has she ever done for you? After all, it sounds like she is just using you to make herself look like she's got a friend..and you don't need someone using you. Maybe even tell her "look, I appreciate you wanting me to be so involved, but I feel odd about it because we're not really close, and I feel as though you're using me and forcing this on me just to benefit you in some way, and it's not really an ideal situation for me so I don't think I will be coming to the wedding".
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUnfortunately i See her every day. should i just simply say to her I Cant come, or what? I cant help u ... really i dont know..She seems to have taken me now as close friend,but thats probably coz she doesnt or hardly has anyone to turn to.On times i fell really pity for her,she is 45 so i dont know her past or what caused And i dont bother..The present behavior or that towards me is what concerns me most.She got smmiten in some way in the late period,but i know also that is coz she is getting married for a man that hardly knows her(He is German and even havent visited our country) so he basicly doesnt know anything about her.So she just wants to count on me,as to say You see i have nice friend that loves and appreciates me, but thats not the case. I cannot avoid her,i see her almost daily, but do not want or wish to participate in such hypocritical things
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2007): Do you still see her in a "professional" environment? If not, just stop answering her calls..Avoid her. I'm sure if she's a user, she gets it a lot and she'll just jump onto the next person to use. I know a girl like that.
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