A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am dating someone, the first guy I've been serious with since my ex. It is my experience now that a lot of people date a few people at the same time.Is it stupid to ask him if I'm the only one? He does not seem to be hiding anything, but I've been out of the dating game for a while. I was married since I was 21 and am now 36. How should I handle this without offending him?
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male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (6 June 2008):
 I agree with Tremor's advice, but I would also urge you to avoid anything sneaky here as well. That means no sneak-peeks at his cell SMS messages, email or other tell-tale signs... I think a heart-felt conversation about it would be reasonable.
Good luck and may you find him all yours! ;)
A
female
reader, Tremor  +, writes (6 June 2008):
 It's not a stupid thing to wonder - a lot of people are non-exclusive when they are dating casually, and become monogamous when they begin to get more serious with one person.
I can see how it'd be an awkward thing to ask. You have to manouvre a little, do the 'asking without asking' thing. Perhaps bring up the practise in conversation somehow, ask him what he thinks of it. It might be a little obvious, but it's better than going 'Are you seeing other women? Am I your ONLY girlfriend?'
Alternatively, make jokes about it and see how he reacts. When he has to leave make a comment about him having to squeeze all his lady friends into his schedule, etc.
Good luck. =)
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