A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:so theres this guy that I have been watching from a distance for a couple of weeks now. not in a stalker kind of way but he is in a band that often plays close to where i live and i go to watch them when i can. for the last few weeks i have just developed this thing [ i dont want to call it a crush because am too old for that i think].. but i think he is incredibly physically attractive and i have heard he is an incredibly nice guy off stage... and for some reason lately i cannot seem to get him off my mind. i have been trying to forget about the idea of pursuing him because 1) before this incident i considered myself old school in regard to men making the first move rather than the other way round and 2) I think he is way out of my league.. especially physically because he is tall and skinny [which i like].. but am tall and fat [which i dont think he might like]. So with those 2 reasons, i figured it was no use even entertaining the thought. the problem is I just cant seem to let it go. so i recently decided to go for it.... take a risk and initiate contact. I didnt even know his surname ... and i have had to go to extreme lengths to get it and try and find him on any social netwroking site without having to get help from any of the people within his social circle. Just discovered he is on facebook and i want to send him a message. by the way he doesnt know I exist [never met him personally].. am just a secret admirer i guess. anyway my problem is i dont know what to say. what i have written down so far is the generic ... i love your music.. i watched in you in concert and i loved it.. type stuff!! thing is .. am sure he gets alot of those.. and i i dont want to seem like a crazed fangirl/ stalker because he might most likely send a polite "thank you very much" type message back and thats it yet i want to initiate contact for the sole reason of establishing some sort of durable communication that may or may not culminate into a friendship. so whats the best thing to say and how best to say it so that i elicit a response that is more than "thanks". any ideas?
View related questions:
crush, facebook, I love you Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI dont know yet if he is available.. partly because i dont know how to broach the subject without insinuating that i would like to be his girlfriend. i guess i will find out when we get to talking.. but for now am hoping he's not coz that will really be a bummer as i dont want to be that girl trying to go in on someone's man.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (16 November 2011):
 don't assume that skinny men don't like fluffy women... I know lots of thin men that prefer women with meat on their bones...
sounds like telling him you like his music is a good start...
are you sure he's available?
...............................
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (16 November 2011):
 Well telling him you like his music is a great start. But you should always ask questions as well to keep the conversation going. Just think of some things that you would like to ask him, how he got in to music, where does he gig ect. Maybe ask him a bit about himself. Show him you are interested in him and not just his music.
...............................
|
