A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:This guy at my work likes to stare and/or glance at me from afar; he seems nervous every time I come closer to him or walk past him. Afew weeks ago, I was smiling at him to try and calm his nerves down and show I am a friendly person and he seemed to like it since he gave me one back and he was checking me out (lol). He did this again the next time I saw him on the same shift as me however, the next time after I saw him that day he was acting so different; I walked past him and was going to say hi or atleast smile at him again but as he seen me he quickly turned away and pretended not to notice me at all, like he looked caught off guard and didn't expect to see me there. This has been going on for afew weeks now where he would make advances (i.e. hover around me, stare at me, getting nervous etc.) and then another minute he would pretend not to notice me or avoid looking at me etc. His 23 and I'm 20 so were both young and immature at dating. I really do like him but the signals that he gives me (avoiding me) tells me otherwise and makes me not wanting to pursue anything. I'm trying to find an opening to say hi but his always talking to his friends, or busy obviously, working. His quite a social butterfly and pretty confident but when it comes to me he goes quiet and nervous ... abit distant.What do I do?
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female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (7 April 2018):
 Stop with the childish games please. No one in their right mind will advise you on how to get the attention of your co-worker. You're there to do a job, do just that and come back home. Not only will you end up messing up your work, you'll get a terrible reputation and your life will be miserable when the relationship inevitably ends. Do you want all of that to happen?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2018): What you just described is considered borderline sexual-harassment; and/or a hostile work-environment for women. As management, I would see it as unprofessional and a potential liability to my company. This isn't hypothetical, it's all fact!
If he was behaving properly, you wouldn't pickup anything but a professional; and a nice guy to work with.
You are very young. You haven't learned that your job is not a dating-pool; and all that is required from you is to be polite, efficient as a worker, and cooperative with your co-workers.
When on-the-job romances go sour, people bring their nonsense to work. Suddenly his behavior is considered unwanted advances; or inappropriate scenes or confrontations occur in the workplace. He might flirt with someone else, and there will be retaliation out of jealousy. All unprofessional, and reasons I'd fire the both of you.
You get a pass, due to your youth and inexperience about these things.
Keep your flirtations outside the office; and preferably for guys you don't have to see 35-40 hours a week, with the same signature on his paychecks as yours.
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A
female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (6 April 2018):
 My guess is; he probably likes you. Some people think that work is a good place to meet your potential life partner, personally though; I don't date co-workers. It complicates things loads and it adds a certain sense of unprofessionalism if the two of you fought before work or something of that sort, which, people will notice and it WILL become a work thing especially with how young you guys are.
If this is a friendly type of situation; you should preferably keep it that way. Juts keep greeting as common courtesy and let that be that. Don't fall into this kind of a situation right now.
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