A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This to me is a simple question, but first some back ground on the situation. I have a female friend, we are close friends, basically we tell each other problems and such, hang out and go out. We are friends and for me I am not really interested in her at the moment, I have bigger things to be focused on, like finishing my degree and also I am coming out of a hard relationship. I have not had sex in over a year and a half and well I recently realized I am very sexually attracted to her, nothing really more. I know that she thinks I am sexually attractive as well (we were drunk and she told me I was a 9.5/10). Now I know she is some what serious, I feel like she would just say no to the idea of friends with benefits, but i still wonder.Firstly, would this damage our friendship if I asked her? Is there a way that I can be friends with benefits with her, just so I can have a bit of sexual relief(also experiment)? Also is there a way I can go about it without seeming like a dog?
View related questions:
drunk, friend with benefits Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2011): You're not interested in her at the moment but you'll use her for sex? You're going to damage and hurt a friend so you can get sexual relief? You're an ass and I hope she sees that too and kicks you to the curb as a friend if you make this request of her.
A
female
reader, ____x  +, writes (4 January 2011):
you will seem like a dog, you say your not interested but then say you wannnt to be friends with benefits. All you want ti do is use her until someone better comes along, get some respect.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2011): Is your friendship more important than your sexual relief? She has a high opinion of you now, but may be affronted by your approach.
Whereas if your sexual relief is more important than the friendship, then the friendship is not as important to you as it may be to her.
As most FWB end, and often fizzle away
to nothing, leaving at least one party sad,
it is thus likely that you will lose a friend.
Even if she agrees to it at the outset she may be hurt that you can't face developing a complete relationship with her you.
You know she likes you. There is emotion and attraction on her side. There is 'like and 'comfortable' on your side.
It seems exploitive of you to take advantage of her 'attraction' towards you and propse a FWB relationship
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2011): I would first find out, delicately, if she has other male interests. If so, you'll have to be much more suave than if she doesn't. I'm going to be honest and tell you that you may be very strongly or even permanently in the "friend" category. Women usually make a concious or subconcious decision very early on if a guy is bedroom material, and you may be screwed if she hasn't made it known by now. Most women, no matter how shy, will let you know they want more than friendship if they indeed do. You just have to be aware of the signals, and need to act upon them the second they pop up.
What I'm saying is, you need to let her drive the advances. You just need to plant the seed. Maybe mention in related conversation that it has been 18 months since you had sex, or that you are very frustrated. Any sexually active woman who is comfortable with you and likes you enough will probably at least give you the "release fuck" out of sympathy. If after some basic hints like that nothing happens, I'm afraid you'll need to let it go, cause it aint gonna happen. Push it, and you may ruin the friendship. Just dont be like one of these pathetic guys who never make their interest known and follow her around like a puppy for years waiting for that chance to bed with her while she shags dozens of guys in the meantime.
...............................
|
