A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys, Sorry for being such a drag with this post, but I'm really down these last 2-3 days and tomorrow is my birthday. Thank you for reading this.To get to the point... I don't think I'm really beautiful, especially to my bf and eternal love of my love. We're planning on getting married in a couple of years... We are pretty serious and love each other completely even with all our flaws and secrets and stuff. I felt like this for a while but shoved it off as being silly, but yesterday I just cracked. I told my bf that I feel this way and that I'm sorry that I don't look like his ex (they're still talking and we're cool with each other) and other friends (girls) that look like super models. I'm just an ordinary girl with stretch marks, cellulite, marks, bruises, unwanted hair that i constantly struggle with, pale skin. I was self-conscious of my small breasts too before but that I got over with.I know I'm not the only girl/woman in the world that feels this way...I few months ago we were at school, (I'm 18 tomorrow and he's also gonna be in 6 months), and we talked about something and then he suddenly said 'you know, there are girls that are prettier than you'. I knew it before he even said that and he was being honest with me and he did say sorry because he saw that it hurt me and he felt bad... but it stuck. He always says that I look pretty, cute, sexy, and I'm amazing, but he rarely uses the word beautiful... he does say it, but yeah.And when I told him yesterday what I'm feeling (per text because he was studying for exams this week) he said he picked me because those girls doesn't have my personality and that he wouldn't have been with the love of his life then. I'm thankful that he said that and I believe him, he even said I'm amazing... but he didn't say out of his own that I'm beautiful, instead he said that those girls I referred to think themselves of being ugly and hating themselves and they think I'm pretty. I guess it was his way at that time of saying it and I did let it go at that time, but this morning I feel the same again. I want him to say it and actually mean it at that time when he says it. I want him to think ‘wow, she actually looks beautiful’. I admit that I’m a jealous person, but this time I can’t really help that I feel this way. I want to look like those beautiful girls for him. I don’t have extra weight on me, a little muffin top yes, but I’m fine most of the time. But I do have body ‘flaws’ on me and most of them I can’t really change… I can hide them, but not change them. I don't want to constantly ask him this, because I don't want to annoy him, but how can I work through this? At least until he actually says I look beautiful to him. Like I said, we truly love each other and I'm not gonna leave him over a thing like that... but... how can I move on with this... thing?Please, I need advice on this. No criticism please.Than you so much for reading this. (inner beauty wanting to shine on the outside too)
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breasts, his ex, jealous, move on, stretch marks, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2017): The Poster:
Thanks you guys, :) I really appreciate your advice.
I'm gonna have to work on myself when it comes to confidence and self-appreciation.
I really love him and he really loves me. He's wonderful and I want him happy. So I see if I want that then I need to be happy myself.
Much love!
God Bless
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (4 October 2017):
 It is not up to your boyfriend to make you feel beautiful, if you are lacking confidence you are always going to see the negative. You need to build it up yourself, you need to learn to find yourself beautiful. Just because your boyfriend doesn't call you beautiful a lot does not mean he does not think it. Honestly do you tell him he is beautiful much? You need to start listening to the positive things that he says to you and not the negative. It is you with the issues here, he is happy with you. But if he is going to need to continuously remind you that then he will soon get fed up. Work on yourself and your own self image.
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (4 October 2017):
 "You should not use outward aids to make yourselves beautiful, such as the way you fix your hair, or the jewelry you put on, or the dresses you wear. Instead, your beauty should consist of your true inner self, the ageless beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of the greatest value in God's sight."
Let me explain something to you about men. Most men do not care, or see, or obsess, about a woman's weight or flaws, as women do. In fact, your inner beauty is what we really look for.
Women however, find the need to point out their flaws...or should I say...what they think is their flaws to us. The more you talk about your flaws, and hate them...guess what?? We begin to see them too, and begin to hate them as much as you do.
"Does this make me look fat?" "Look at all my flab" "Look at my muffin top." Look Look Look...and we will sooner than later.
We do not need your insecurities...We need your confidence in yourself, and what you have to offer. When you start pointing out what you don't like...all the time...we start looking for someone who love what they have, and love themselves.
Can you turn on your man? Can you make him want you like crazy? If your answer is yes...then that confidence is what you need to work with everyday...not the negative stuff.
You are healthy, not in a wheelchair, not sick in bed, do not have cancer, or any other issues...so...enjoy your life, and leave negative thoughts in the garbage where it belongs.
To be blunt...You can be the most beautiful woman in world. Biggest breast, best shape ever. In the end...none of that matters to a man. What you have between your legs, is what every man finally goes after.
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