A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm a 16 year old girl and I don't really masturbate. I’m not sure how to. Is that weird? Is that bad? Me and my boyfriend are doing a lot of stuff with hands. This is the first time either of us have gotten this close to another person before. We’re around the same age and experience level. I've got his area pretty well figured out and can make him really happy. He's trying to do the same for me, only mine is proving to be a lot harder to figure out. He wants to make me feel good as possible, but is not sure how. I’ve got no clue what to tell him. I'm not really getting orgasms like he is. How do I? How do I know? Him, trying to figure me out, is asking to see me masturbate and if I do. Which im sure is reasonable, but I was too embarrassed to say that I don't really. To be honest I'm not really sure how to. Is that really really weird and stupid of me? I would like to. How do girls masturbate? I'm not really comfortable with sticking stuff in my vagina yet. What should I do? What should we do?
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female
reader, natasia  +, writes (13 April 2009):
 I think you're right - you need to try on your own first, and find out a bit more about your body works.
Certainly forget about sticking things inside you - this is not in any way necessary, and millions of women rarely if ever do that, although they masturbate regularly.
I would just say to run your hand down from your tummy button, straight down, until you find the tip at the top of your lips. Usually if you rub gently there or around there, and think about something *nice* ; ) then you will feel aroused. It's pretty important to have something sexy in mind - you won't do it without that. Close your eyes and visualise something happening that turns you on. A situation, a scene, a scenario ... and if you do that while rubbing where it feels good, you will most likely eventually have an orgasm.
When you're doing it with your boyfriend there it's a bit different. You will have some things to turn you on that you don't get on your own - ie, the closeness of your boyfriend, the smell of his skin, the sight and feel of his erection, knowing that he is turned on too - all of that helps. Be careful, though, not to have too technical and scientific a discussion about things, as that will engage your sensible left-hand brain and spoil the mood!! Honestly, as a woman, I think it is so important to feel right - and to feel open and sexy, you need the right atmosphere. Don't go at it like an anatomy lesson. Better to lie back, maybe hold your boyfriend in one hand, and with the other show him the place you've discovered. He could then also try touching you there as well. I can also pretty must assure you that if he were to kiss you there, you would have no problem having an orgasm ... that might, in fact, be the best way to start out. Suggest it to him : )
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