A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes: I am a divorced 54 year old woman dating a 53 year old divorced man for the past 5 years. Recently I read his e-mail that he sent to his ex-girlfriend who he had an internet relationship with before me but who was married and not going to leave her husband. She had contacted him within the past year and they were calling each other over the past 8 months. He says it didn't mean anything to him and stopped it immediately after I found out. He did tell me that he thought she wanted more as she is not happily married and has a strong need for sex, but he was not going there. He has given me his password to his e-mail. He was sorry he did it and said it wouldn't happen again. My question is "How deceptive is he, can I trust him? Obviously, I wasn't suppose to find out even though in his mind he really doesn't feel he was doing anything deceptive towards me. I was hugely hurt and we talked about it extensively. He admitted it was a stupid thing to do but that she was a "kindred spirit". Does this mean that his morality level is not what I should be associated with as I find it incomprehensible that he could have done this knowing I wouldn't like it. He (stupidly) thought he was helping her as she can supposedly talk to him about anything. He told her to make it work with her husband and she asked about me often.
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female
reader, petina1 +, writes (12 January 2011):
It's easy for people to get a bit carried away online. He probably did it at a weak time in his life. He's asked for your forgiveness, he even gave you the password. You must believe him and trust that he won't do that again. Try to put it in the past now and enjoy the time you have with him. Everyone makes mistakes and they learn from them. Let him know you forgive him, you trust him and you are going to forget this incident, or it could tear apart what you have. I'm sure he is feeling silly about it all. I should give him another chance and see how you go on.
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