A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Just wanted some sound advice. My partner left me after an 18 year relationship and I found out when trying to resolve things that within three weeks she was dated someone else. She ended the relationship in a cruel way and I didn't get closure. I am still scarred by it and have now found that she had married this guy. I am still single. Why do I feel so low on finding our she is married. Can't understand my emotions or how she could move on so soon.
View related questions:
move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2011): Just a thought but, if your ex partner is around the same age as you, she will probably be much more aware of her age and time ticking away - females in general really worry about losing their looks as they get older because so many men these days go for far, far younger women as a kind of "trophy" - it creates a lot of pressure for older women. Also, it depends on how happy she really was in the relationship - it is sometimes possible to do a lot of your "grieving" whilst still in the relationship and even emotionally move on without necessarily starting to see someone else at the same time.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2011): This wont have happened overnight. There is no quick fix for you,but get back into the world. Dont talk about it to any potential new partner,they wont want to hear about her. Bernards advice is correct.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2011): I'm so sorry. I agree, all of your feelings are normal and this was a long relationship so it will take time to process all the emotions and the grief. Stay close to your friends and family to help you through this. No one can know how someone can move on that fast, it could be that she was already in a relationship with this man before she left you and that she is narcissistic and only focuses on her own feelings. Or it could be that she didn't want to be alone and then their relationship grew from that. There is no excuse for ending things in a cruel and painful way and I hope that at some point you get some closure and at least an apology for that, not that it will completely take away the scars- this is all assuming you treated her well during your 18 years together.
...............................
A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (4 November 2011):
 What you are feeling is completely normal and shows that you have a brain a heart and some feelings unlike your ex whom I think you are probably well rid of from what she has done. Allow yourself to grieve as it's important to get it all out. You will be ok and there will be someone out there for you but not until you are ready. Do things that you love and try to cultivate a wide circle of friends and aquaintances. All these things will help you step out of the darkness bit by bit.
...............................
|
