A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi all, Thanks for listening to me... Well my fiance of 7 years walked out on me the other day. We didn't really argue, there were little things that I did that ticked her off, and vice versa, but I was never a flat out jerk to her ever. I loved her and cared about her deeply. I gave her everything she ever asked of me, whether physical items, or just help with things. She knew that I loved her, expressed that to her. Our families were close, and I have 3 god children in her family. She came over to my house sat down looked me square in the eyes and said it was over, and she didn't want to marry me anymore or be with me. She left the ring on the table and walked out straight faced. I was blind sided and in complete shock. I had 1 million questions and not 1 answer. I didn't call her or text her anything until the third day. My job requires me to be on point, I'm a Police Officer. Something happened when I was at work that almost got my partner and myself killed. I was sent home, and texted her to say we had to talk. I went over to her place, brought her flowers (mistake 1), and asked her what happened? She cries for about a minute and says that she feels like she fell out of love with me, and she's just been trying to make it work for a while, but couldn't. I practicly broke down, didn't beg, but wanted her to understand that I was hurt deeply by this, and that it might be a mistake made by her(mistake 2). She said I knew you were going to do this, and seemed annoyed. I said goodbye to her, she didn't say anything and I walked out. The past few weeks have been the hardest for me. I looked up what a broken heart really meant and it described exactly what I was feeling. I'm close to her family and they are telling me she's been going out non stop with her wild and 5 year younger cousin ( who in my opinion helped my ex in what she did to me, by pumping ideas in her head). I heard that they're looking into getting an apartment with eachother and everything. Some of her family say she's stupid, doesn't make enough money to pay for anything, and has about $30,000 in bills. Some are supportive in her decision, but don't know she's partying every night. I know this might be a rebel stage, but she didn't have to hurt me like this. I've been avoiding talking to her family, and haven't talked to my ex since that day ( about 3 weeks ago). Honostly how could anyone throw away 7 years, an engagement, our dog, everything, just to go out and be a rebel at this time in her life?? It hurts really hurts to know there are girls like that out there...
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFrom the writer of this story..... Well, I don't want to be naive, but it's hard to believe that she found someone else, but it is a very big option. I talked to her friends/family since then, because I have a couple of friends who are still dating a couple of her family members. They've reassure me that there is no one else and she just got sick of little things that bothered her in the relationship. They've been telling me that pretty much she has felt tied down and was just sick of the little things that added up to big things. It was like a reality check to her, after going out a couple of times when I was at work she said to herself "Hey, it wouldn't be bad being single." Well blood is thicker then water so I may never know the truthe behind it all. I didn't realize it until now that we were distancing ourselves from eachother, and it got worse every day. We both just got comfortable, and I believe ( now after all this ) that no matter what happened I couldn't see myself with her and that I was almost delaying the inevitable. It's been about a month now, and I've been getting better. I've been running, and working out like an animal. Seems to really help, until that song comes on or I have down time and sit and think about things.She's tried to see me a couple of times through mutual friends, but she hasn't contacted me. I was supposed to go to a bar with a couple of mutual friends, and she was there knowing that I was comming. They said she knew you were comming, but i didn't go until she left. I won't give her that little bit of satisfaction, and let it bring me back to square one. I've cut off all contact with her and haven't spoke to her or texted her. She's still my friend on facebook and still has pictures of us hugging on there, so I don't know what to really think. I haven't looked at her facebook, so I won't get hurt by what I see. Thanks for the help guys.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2009): This same thing happened to me, a few days ago, after 7 years.
Make sure you eat right, sleep enough, exercise, get in touch with family and friends, and let people know what happened. You don't want to feel like you're ashamed or holding anything back.
This is a very emotionally straining time. You need to take care of your body.
Don't press the rewind button and try to think about what should have been done differently. What happened is history, and it cannot be changed. Live in the present - live for YOU.
From this day forward, it's about YOU. Not "us", not her.
No one knows why these things happen, and no one will. You are not the only one who has dealt with this, and you won't be the last.
You will be reminded of her at restaurants, when you see other couples and when you see other women. It's okay. In time, this will pass. Just let yourself heal.
Your mind is probably racing. Write a letter to her. Once you're done, rip it up and burn it. Just get your thoughts down on paper.
I hope you feel better. I'm trying to take my own advice, but this is the hardest and most devastating thing ever.
We'll be okay, hang in there.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2009): Hey, that is tough, but there are many people out there going through the same thing. I myself, was in a 6 year relationship and all of a sudden ended it. I was actually thinking about it for along time, and perhaps she was too, but just didn't tell you about her thoughts. I am guessing she may have found someone else that she was interested in.....some people can just fall out of love. Its sad, but true. I know its rough now, but I would say just take some time to focus on yourself. Once you heal, perhaps start dating again. Plus, someday you probably will be happy this happened. You will meet someone that clicks with you even better than your ex fiance. Trust me. Everything happens for a reason. Just be patient, take it day by day! You're not alone.
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (2 August 2009):
 Finally a criminal (me) going to give a cop some advice!!! lol...
Suffice it to say that she threw 7 years away because she found somebody else that floated her boat. People usually don't make the announcement that its over after 7 years and go through the whole cruel process of laying the ring on the table and walking out without a sorry without having someone on the side or if they were about to be found out that they did something wrong.
You are a cop, you should not even think about a "rebellious phase" on your ex. That is for children. You should know a BS excuse coming from her lips because you hear BS excuses from criminals every day.
You blame her cousin, and yes maybe her cousin had something to do with taking her out.
But most likely during one of those nights out she decided to spread her legs for someone else. She then did it more than once, and out of her guilt(too late) she decided that she would spare HERSELF feeling guilty and just tell you that she fell out of love with you.
Sorry, but that is most likely the truth. I expect she already has a new boyfriend.
Just cut all contact with her, you'll be happy you did. Look, if you are a cop, you know that your job puts stresses on a relationship as it is. Stresses that people can easily use to justify cheating.
Just thank god you didn't marry her....don't look back
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