A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Almost 2 years ago, i contacted an old school friend. We chatted on line and hit it off straight away. We ended up swapping numbers and used to text and talk constantly during the day. We both have long term partners so this as often difficult but his relationship was not so good and he was so unhappy and told me he didnt love her. Within a few months he told me he loved me and begged me to leave my partner, he was willing to tell his at any given moment. He cried when i had to go back home after we had been together, I fell deeper for him too and we both knew we were going to be together, until one awful day when his partner caught us together, we were just walking together and obviously she went mental. I wasnt able to contact him for that day which was a huge deal as we were in contact all day every day. A few days after that happened he contacted me to say that his feelings for me were not what he thought and that he was just flattered by the attention i gave him, although he gave me much more attention and put me on this very high pedestal. We have talked on and off since then but after a few months of no contact i rang him out of the blue he was very happy to hear from me and told me he had missed me so much and that he thought about me every day. The trouble is, i love him and i need to know what is goin on in his head.How could he honestly say that he didnt love me after all it just doesnt make sense. He is a great guy and only started a relationship with me because we were going to be together. He was totally obsessed with me. Please help to try and settle my mind. We now speak almost every morning on our ways to work.
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (19 March 2010):
You have walked into the trap. It makes perfect sense that he should say that, because he means it. You were an outlet for the unhappiness of his relationship. You were used, in other words. This is an emotional affair, and rather than focus on his relationship, he chose to just use you as a rock. It is clear to me that he will never leave that girlfriend or that he will come to you. I'd suggest that you cut contact with him, as you will end up with no one. Also, end it with your current boyfriend. He's not the one either. You're wasting time on two men, both of whom aren't right.
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