A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Oh boy, I am lost. I'm 16 and have never had a boy friend nor have I ever been what the idiot guys at school call "Fuckable." Which is being #1 Skinny. #2 wear 3lbs of makeup that makes you look like some cliche teeny bopper popstar. and #3 have giant boobs and a nice "ass" And well I don't even have one of those on that list. Before haveing non of those things never bothered me before but recently, I just don't know my selfesteem has all of the sudden been ripped out, trampled on and has been put through a wood chipper. And I mean I used to think someone would see past my physical imperfections and atleast notice me its happend before to some of my friends why in the hell shouldn't it happen for me? And I guess I want to know why on earth am I feeling this way? These days I feel as though I need to compleatly change myself or I will end up alone and have 15 cats. Can somene please just tell me whats going on with my self there is so much chaos I can't find my self anymore Ugggghhh Im so fed up with this.
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female
reader, r_a_w_r1645 +, writes (23 December 2009):
 Im the same way. Well 14 tho. Ive never dated anyone cuz no one wants to or likes me :( i think someone does tho but yeah iduno. i wear makeup and have boobs and am skinny but not total and yet i dont get a bf. i wish both of us luck. :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2009): Hi there, here are a few things I wish I had known when I was 16yo (that was 11 years ago...my god!). First and most importantly, no one will ever see past your 'imperfections' if you don't...it's your own job to convince yourself that you are attractive and worthy of attention, no one will do it for you. I was a far cry from skinny when I was your age and I felt exactly the same...later in life I decided to convince myself I wasn't that bad after all and as soon as my attitude changed I started to get a lot more attention.
The things you see in yourself as imperfect can be attractive if you change the way you see them (if that's all it takes you can try to your clothes, make up, haircut, or your habits for all that matters, like if you feel bad cause you think you're too fat, how about losing a little weight? there's nothing wrong with changing who you are as long as you do it FOR YOURSELF).
It's not about being like the others, it's about being at peace with your uniqueness and make the most of what nature gave you. There is no such thing as perfection.
As soon as you stop beating youself up and give yourself a chance to stand out, people will see you differently (think alternative beauties, eg Dita Von Teese, Lily Cole, Kirsten Dunst, America Ferrara etc... there are so many celebrities that are not conventionally beautiful and yet are absolutely gorgeous!)
Oh and also lol... when you say 'they', which blokes are you talking about? At your age I was moaning about never having a boyfriend and complained that guys were so superficial, but I had my eyes set on the pretty boys only... there were a few nerds that would have been happy to go out with me but I didn't care cause they weren't hot enough...so whilst moaning that nobody saw the real me, I was doing exactly the same to others (which is a shame, I recently got in touch with a couple of the nerds on question on FB recently, and some of them have turned out SO good-looking...my loss ;))... I'm sure you're not as dumb as I was though :)
Self-esteem improves with time I promise. Do you best to look good according to your own standards; guys love Barbie dolls when they're 16 but they end up loving girls with more depth and unique looks as they get older (at least, the ones worth going out with)
Best of luck :) I hope that helped :)
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (21 December 2009):
 Well, a few things are certain. You are clever, intelligent and have a great sense of humor. You may have a great future as a writer. And one other thing - you are still very young. Way too young to begin amassing kittens. Just hang in there girl, and someday your prince will come. Do not be in any hurry, and for goodness sake, remain totally "unfuckable" for now and the near future.
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